Thursday, September 14, 2006

The Longest Week

This has got to been the longest week in a long time! We don't have any major plans this weekend that I am just dying to get the week over for, however I feel like I haven't had a day off in ages. Thank goodness for Friday tomorrow!
I went to a meeting tonight for the Young Emerging Leaders. It's a new group that is being formed for our region and I think it's going to be great for networking, events, etc. I am excited about it!
Tomorrow night is Bunco again! I don't think we can top last month's Bunco, but we'll sure give it a try. It's in Alma tomorrow night, so we have quite the drive, but it'll be worth it I'm sure. Tomorrow is also the two year anniversary of my divorce. I can't help but think back on that time and appreciate it. I am who I am because of my past and I am happy for it. If I had to go back and do it all again, I wouldn't hesitate. That part of my life will always be special to me becasue of who I am now. I learned a lot....here's a few of my favorite lessons:
1) I learned that my life is just that...my life. I have been a person who typically lived to please others. I was afraid of disapproval from others. But I learned that I can't please everyone, so I will please myself first. It's not that others in my life aren't important, but ultimately when the day is over, I live with my choices, so I should make sure they are truly what I would want for me. Are all of my choices right? No, but the end result is for me to experience.
2) I can't trust a single person. This is probably hardest for me to grasp, but it's true. I don't necessarily mean it in a bad way. I just realized that we are all human, therefore we fall. We fail others. I am not bitter about this aspect, it's just that I think I am bad about setting my expectations of others too high and I have learned to accept them as they are. Sometimes that is OK, other times I have had to distance myself from people. It hurts at times to hold some friends at arms length. This lesson was the hardest also because people can be cruel. Those people you thought were the most compassionate are sometimes the most critical.
3) My kids are the most important part of my life. I am their rock, therefore I am going to do whatever I can to help them find success. My kids look up to me, watch my every move and sometimes copy those moves.
4) Love can't be forced. You know it when you feel it. But sometimes love isn't enough. And sometimes love doesn't always win. Sometimes you have to do the right thing. Sometimes you have to follow your head because your heart has alterior motives. Your heart is selfish, but you shouldn't always be that way.
5) I can live in the "barn" all by myself...and my parents thought I couldn't "survive" on my own. Do they not remember I am "Miss Independent"???
6) Family do not always make the best of friends. Family is just that family. They are the people you can't ignore and you can't get rid of. Therefore, they don't always have to be your friend. But in the end, you learn that they mean well and they hurt for you.
7) I learned what I value. I learned what virtues are most important to me and which ones I seek to find in others. I admire a person that says, "You may not have made the choice I would've chosen, but you are still important to me." I value a person with empathy, fairness, and compassion.
So, here's to transformation. Here's to a fresh perspective. Here's to living.

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