Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Burdened Heart

Ok, my heart is absolutely breaking and I don't know what to do. I was talking with an old high school friend the other day, the girl that was my "rock" when it came to spirituality. I could set a moral compass by her. It was what would ____ do/think? She had daily quiet times, was front row at youth group, she LOVED the Lord and nothing got in the way of it. She hunted out the lost--it was almost a mission of hers to find people that should could bring to Christ. She never missed a church camp. She was SO strong in her relationship with God that I could only dream of being that way. I can honestly say that my friendship with her kept me out of a lot of trouble because she wasn't about to let any of her friends go down the wrong path.
Awhile back I heard that she had grown distant in her relationship with the Lord, but honestly I felt it was probably one of those phases we all experience in life or maybe even a testing of the waters? I truly felt it was a period in her life that would only bring her closer to God in the end. But, after I hung up the phone the other night, I realized she does not believe the same at all as she used to about God. And, honestly I know and understand why. Now, please don't read the previous statement as "I agree with her", but that I totally know where she is coming from and how she got there. When we were growing up, she went to church and literally soaked up every message from the Pastor. She looked up to people at our church. Yet, in the previous years, she has learned that the Pastor had an affair during the time he preached, the people she looked up to most had trials/tribulations in their lives and didn't always deal with them appropriately. But instead of realizing the humanity in the situation, she has decided she doesn't want to be a part of it anymore. She plans to marry soon and her fiance is either agnostic or atheist. She told me that she doesn't care what religion her future children choose or if they choose it at all. My heart broke. Literally. I am so afraid for her, for her kids that she'll have one day. I don't want to isolate her anymore than she already is, but I don't want to stand by and watch this happen to her. It hurts to think that she is forgetting the whole point of her relationship with God and letting human indiscretion change her beliefs. She is willing to sacrifice the salvation of her fiance and future children because of how someone else handled trials in their life. I just pray that something turns her around. I don't know if that something could be me or not. I don't know if I am strong enough to handle such a delicate situation, but I can't bear to watch it unfold......

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