Tested....

I have been tested many times today....and I have failed. Such a poor attitude...but I am just so stressed. Tomorrow morning I have my certification exam for my new drug and I am in panic mode right now. I am so worried that I won't pass. It was a stressful week last week and I just feel so far behind on studying (probably shouldn't be blogging right now though, huh?) Anyway, I just hope to pass it tomorrow. I have to make an 85% to pass...so say a little prayer, or even two. It won't hurt, trust me.
I am in Dallas for the week for the rest of the training....and this time we have roommates for the week. Normally when we are in training we get solo rooms, but not this time for some reason. Which honestly makes it so hard to relax, study, and just chill out for a bit. Not to mention that roommates assigned this time were random. I have no clue who my roommate is! Talk about weird--living with someone for 4 days you have never even met. By the time I get home, I will be so ready for some relaxation and privacy!
Yesterday we took the kids to the lake in our new boat for the first time. We had a great time--I'll leave it at that because I want to include pictures and more details, but overall we had fun!

Silver Winner-Yeah!

We just had our regional conference calls with our new Regional Managers and they announced the Silver Cresset winners. I don't know if you recall a post from a few months ago when we went to Memphis. At that time, the sales year was half over and my partner and I were in the running for Cresset Silver. (Side note: Cresset Gold is when you when the sales trip for top performance and Cresset Silver is for the second place people who didn't win the trip, but still win a nice bonus check.) Anyway, I wasn't sure if I could hold my spot for 6 more months. You never know what can happen! But, guess what? I WON SILVER CRESSET! YEAH!!!! I was SOOOO excited. Richie went in to work late today, so he was able to be at home when the names were announced. I had the phone on speaker so he could hear and when they announced my name, I jumped out of my chair and danced around the living room!! I made sure the phone was on mute first though! Ha!
Anyway, I am so very excited--it's hard work and dedication that truly pays off. This has been a very busy year with Landen being born and being very pregnant at the beginning of the sales year. Then, I went on maternity leave and that scared me to be at home for 3 plus months and not be able to have an impact on my clients. However, I busted tail when I got back and it all worked out! I sent my old manager (moment of silence as I still grieve from losing her as my manager) and told her thanks so much for everything she did to help me be a great sales rep and win! LOVE HER!

Burdened Heart

Ok, my heart is absolutely breaking and I don't know what to do. I was talking with an old high school friend the other day, the girl that was my "rock" when it came to spirituality. I could set a moral compass by her. It was what would ____ do/think? She had daily quiet times, was front row at youth group, she LOVED the Lord and nothing got in the way of it. She hunted out the lost--it was almost a mission of hers to find people that should could bring to Christ. She never missed a church camp. She was SO strong in her relationship with God that I could only dream of being that way. I can honestly say that my friendship with her kept me out of a lot of trouble because she wasn't about to let any of her friends go down the wrong path.
Awhile back I heard that she had grown distant in her relationship with the Lord, but honestly I felt it was probably one of those phases we all experience in life or maybe even a testing of the waters? I truly felt it was a period in her life that would only bring her closer to God in the end. But, after I hung up the phone the other night, I realized she does not believe the same at all as she used to about God. And, honestly I know and understand why. Now, please don't read the previous statement as "I agree with her", but that I totally know where she is coming from and how she got there. When we were growing up, she went to church and literally soaked up every message from the Pastor. She looked up to people at our church. Yet, in the previous years, she has learned that the Pastor had an affair during the time he preached, the people she looked up to most had trials/tribulations in their lives and didn't always deal with them appropriately. But instead of realizing the humanity in the situation, she has decided she doesn't want to be a part of it anymore. She plans to marry soon and her fiance is either agnostic or atheist. She told me that she doesn't care what religion her future children choose or if they choose it at all. My heart broke. Literally. I am so afraid for her, for her kids that she'll have one day. I don't want to isolate her anymore than she already is, but I don't want to stand by and watch this happen to her. It hurts to think that she is forgetting the whole point of her relationship with God and letting human indiscretion change her beliefs. She is willing to sacrifice the salvation of her fiance and future children because of how someone else handled trials in their life. I just pray that something turns her around. I don't know if that something could be me or not. I don't know if I am strong enough to handle such a delicate situation, but I can't bear to watch it unfold......

Guess who's on the move?

Landen is crawling! Ok, well, it's an "army" crawl, but he gets around all the same. He is so happy to be able to get around, too. And he is getting into everything! I am going to have to pack up the whole house. But I am so glad to see him crawling--he is growing up! And he has perfected his hand-clapping and says "yeah" with it! TOO CUTE!

On July 7th, he has a small surgery on his eye to probe a tear duct that is not working. It's not a major deal. They put him under anesthesia, but not stitches, etc. Weston had the exact procedure done when he was the same age....not sure what it is with my boys and their eyes?

I thought this picture was so cute...the too babies of the family bonding through the door. Landen wants to play with Lily the kitten, but he plays too rough and then she responds too rough. So, for now, they will have to admire each other through the door. He doesn't realize that she isn't as patient and understanding with him as Andy is!

We are heading to the lake!

I have always wanted to own a ski boat and spend the weekends just cruising around the lake! I love to water ski and I know the kids would really enjoy tubing! So, I finally convinced Richie to sell his fishing boat (yes, can you believe he was willing to part with it? Now that's love!) We searched and searched (and waited to make sure I still had a job) and finally found a boat! So, Saturday when the kids and I headed to the concert, Richie headed to Texas to pick it up! It's SO pretty! We are very excited and I can't wait for the first opportunity to hit the lake! I really hope the kids enjoy it as much as I know us big kids (me and Richie) are going to!!

In order to catch up from the busy weekend, I have several posts, so be sure and look back for them all!

Happy Father's Day!

I spent most of yesterday (Father's Day) very busy! In fact, we didn't even do anything special for Father's Day. I had a 6 page critique paper to write for my class and then I had the first of 4 books to study and a quiz for work to take on a new product that I am being trained on. By the end of the evening, I wasn't sure if I turned in a paper on Solution-Focused Therapy or Solution-Focused Gout! My head was spinning! I was so tired and just ready for bed by the time I finished. I had to pass a quiz for work before midnight on the first book and then I had to email my critique paper by midnight as well. Put it this way, I shut my computer at 11 pm. Barely made it! So, Richie, I am so sorry that Father's Day (especially your first one with Landen) wasn't filled with good food and fun times. Forgive me. We will definitely find time to celebrate and enjoy some family time soon though! Thank you so much for being so considerate yesterday to take care of Landen all day while I stared at a computer screen for 10 plus hours. You truly are a great Daddy and I know Landen really appreciates the time you guys spent together!

I texted my real dad yesterday afternoon and told him Happy Father's Day and then I called my step-dad around 9 pm. I felt so bad because his card is still sitting on my kitchen counter. But I think he understands just how busy life is for me and I know he is so understanding. I do appreciate everything that they both do for me and I am fortunate to have them both in my life!

Bummer of a Birthmark!

I haven't had a chance to write about this, but definitely wanted to take a few moments to document what I did last Thursday. I have (well, at this point I had) a place on my head that I have always had for as long as I can remember. It's a circular spot that never had hair growing in it and it seemed to change size and texture every now and then. Well, about 5 plus years ago, I had a dermatologist look at it and he gave it some really long name and said that it is pre-cancerous with a 20% change of becoming cancerous over time. Not high chances at the time, but definitely something you don't want to leave on your head just in case. So, he said he recommended removing it but said they could only take a piece of it without doing a skin graft. So, I had a little piece removed at the time knowing that I needed to get the rest removed at some point in the future. Then life happened and my nerves kind of played a part too. It wasn't the best experience and I dreaded dealing with it again. So, fast forward to last Thursday. I had recently switched dermatologists and showed my new dermatologist the spot. Dr. Brad said he could remove the whole thing himself. He said the spot was now about the size of a quarter and would require small triangular slices on each side of it to squeeze the hole (once the spot was removed) back together. Sounded gross, but I decided to just get it overwith. It was not fun at all. I had about 6-8 shots in my scalp to numb it. And then the whole process of removing the spot was gross. I'll spare you the details, but let's just put it this way....scratch your head and hear how it sounds--very loud, right? Well, imagine hearing sounds that you know are from someone cutting on your head. Yep, gross. I won't even get into the stitching and stapling part! So, now I have several stitches and 11 staples holding 3 inches of my head together....kind of gross huh? But, hey it's over! Now I never have to worry about that spot again...and that's worth the hassle! I didn't want to miss work that day because I have a new manager and I don't really know her well enough, so I told Dr. Brad that I needed to finish working that afternoon. So, he just gave me a few extra numbing shots and told me I had until about 5 or 6 pm before I would be feeling the pain. Boy, was he right! When the shots wore off, I felt miserable! Not to mention that the painkillers they gave me made me so sick....
Ok, sorry for the gross post! And for the record, my hair looks super greasy around the incision because they put a ton of Vaseline on the incision! When I tried to fix my hair to go back to work after the procedure, it was like a ton of hair gel in the wrong place. Reminded me of Something About Mary!! Ha!

TobyMac

Tonight was the night! We went to see TobyMac and had such a blast! I think the kids may have been a little overwhelmed by the whole concert, but overall I think they really enjoyed the experience.

They weren't as fond of Chris Tomlin's singing and kept asking when TobyMac was coming out. However, I really enjoyed him!
I think they would've liked him better if they knew all of his songs. Kylie was shaking her booty the whole evening and just having such a good time. Weston was a little more reserved, but got with it when his favorite songs were played.
Finally, with about 30 minutes left in the concert, Kylie sat down and curled up in her chair. In 2 minutes, she was fast asleep! Weston and I both wondered how she could possibly sleep--it was so loud in there.

And Weston had another milestone tonight--he tried salad. Yes, I said salad. And he took it like 5 steps further. He tried lettuce with blue cheese, bacon, and ranch dressing on it. I was shocked. And a little grossed out since blue cheese isn't really my thing. But don't tell him because he tried it and liked it! So, maybe those taste buds are finally changing a bit!

Ending Friday with a Hog-Nose.....

Can I just say that I am SO glad this week is over? What a week! I think I have experienced every possible emotion known to man this week....I have several posts coming to detail some of the rest of the week's events because I have pictures for them, but for this event, I couldn't possibly bring myself to snap a picture.

So, here goes....I head home today to grab the camera for the Father's Day Lunch at the kids' school. And I pull up at the house and open the garage door, but I just left the van running in the driveway so that I could run in and run back out. And RUN I did. But, not the way I planned. As I walked in the garage, I headed toward the door to the house....we have a glue trap right by the door (and have caught 2 scorpions on it in the last few days BTW) and in my rush of rounding the corner, I quickly glanced down and saw this HUGE something on the glue pad...A SNAKE. Yes, A SNAKE in my garage. A SNAKE in the garage when the door was down and I was loading my van for work this morning. OMG. I about lost it. Wait, I did lose it. I screamed, turned, and ran back to the van and drove halfway down the hill before calling Richie. He answered the phone and I couldn't even talk I was so petrified. That thing was right by the door to get in the house. He was in the garage with me this morning when I was loading my van and I never even knew it....OMG. So, anyway he rushed right home (because he knew if he didn't I would completely lose it.) The snake was still alive, too. YUCK. I wasn't sure what it was, I just knew it had too many decorative things on it to be just a "black snake". But to me, a snake is a snake. Turns out he says it was a hog-nosed snake? Whatever that is. Still scary.

When I got home this afternoon again, I couldn't even bring myself to park the van in the garage. I wanted plenty of running room in there in case there was another in there!

So, that brings the 2010 snake count to 3. I didn't see this many in the country in 5 plus years.

And Lily, the cat, is getting a pay cut or a friend--maybe I need a front yard cat and a back yard cat?

Shannon, I tried to pick up some Calgon today so I could go home and relax....and they said you bought them out? Can I borrow some? :)

He's Not Finished With Me Yet...Thank Goodness!

The other day while I was driving, I was listening to the Christian satellite channel and the announcer guy was introducing a song I had heard several times. However, he said a few things about the song that gave me this whole different perspective on it!
He talked about patience. I had always thought of patience and then thought of my kids. How I need more patience with them, etc. But I had never thought of patience when I thought of my interactions with other adults. I guess with kids, having patience is necessary because we know they are still growing and learning. But, when we become adults, we assume that we know better. However, the announcer pointed out that God is still working in each of our lives. He is not finished with us yet. So, we need to be patient with each other. We are going to make mistakes, disappoint each other, and let each other down. But, God is SO patient with us, so why not be patient with each other? It was so humbling. I am the world's worst about "checking out" when I am disappointed or hurt by someone. I toss my hands up and say "I'm done". And what if God had done that with me? Goodness knows I have disappointed him SO many times it's not funny!
So, it gave me a newfound perspective! The song is by Brandon Heath and it's called, "Wait and See (He's Not Finished With Me Yet) and here's the chorus and a line that really hit this message of being patient home:

There is hope for me yet
Because God won’t forget
All the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see
He’s not finished with me yet
Still wondering why I’m here
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh, He’s up to something
And the farther on I go
I’ve seen enough to know
That I’m, not here for nothing
He’s up to something
So now’s my time to be a man
Follow my heart as far as I can
No telling where I’m ending up tonight
I never slow down or so it seems
But singing my heart it’s one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight

Still Employed!

Can I just say that today has been such a roller coaster?! It started out with a text from a coworker that a doctor we call on had passed away this morning. He just found out during spring break that he was terminally ill and so I knew it was inevitable news, but I honestly didn't think it would come today during all of this stress.
Anyway, I decided not to put my eye makeup on at that point. I knew it would be a wet-eyed day and there was no reason. Richie asked me if I wanted him to be with me during the news--he knew I was SO stressed and worried. Absolutely I wanted him there. I knew that I wouldn't handle the news well if it was bad. At 9 a.m., I saw my manager's name on my cell phone as her call came in and I wanted to throw up. Part of me just wanted to ignore the call. Maybe the whole thing would just go away? But, I needed to know. This last month of wonder was so frustrating, too. I answered the call and I hear, "Good morning, and yes, it's a good morning." I just started bawling--which would've happened either way because I had so much pent up emotion I was about to explode! She then proceeded to tell me I still had a job! WOO HOO! I was so relieved, but I was still stressed....what about my partners? what about her, my manager? I knew this was going to be one LONG DAY.
From there, the text messages started flying! Good news and bad news both. My partner did keep his job. Thank goodness! But my two other counterparts in our area lost theirs. That was some tough news to swallow. They have done this for 12 plus years! In fact, one of the girls is the reason I got my job. I then found myself wallowing in survivor's guilt. Why keep me? Why not them? I know the parameters for the retention were based on last year's sales performance, but it's still hard to not feel guilty. I was so sad for them. It's so hard to find employment right now.
At 11 a.m., my manager got her news....she is being retained as well! YEAH! Now, I am just waiting until 4 p.m. to find out my assignment.....I may not have her as a manager anymore based on the way the new territories/products are assigned. I am crossing my fingers and saying my prayers!
Overall, today has been a wonderful day for me and my family. I never even told the kids about this situation--I didn't want them to worry. If you know Weston, then you know he would've been so worried. I just couldn't do that to them. And now life will go on and then don't even have to miss a beat.
Thank you Lord, so much for the continual blessings you give me. Wow. You truly never cease to amaze me.

Bittersweet Get-Together

Last night our district got together one last time before the dreaded lay-off calls tomorrow morning! We met at Senor Tequila's in Little Rock for some food, margaritas, and lots of laughs. We had a few rules about the get-together such as no crying, no talk of lay-offs, no guessing who's in/who's out, etc. For the most part, all abided! We wanted a light-hearted time with NO worries!!
I can say with all honesty that I work with such a WONDERFUL group of people. They are the best! I sincerely hope ALL of our prayers are answered tomorrow and that we get together again to celebrate!

THE GROUP!

Angie, Jules, Barron, and Sara Beth

Me, Eric, and Julie

Freddie and Leslie

The Countdown.....

Well, next Tuesday will be the day we get our lay-off phone calls. It seems like forever ago that they told us our company was down-sizing, yet the 15th is quickly approaching. I have to say that I am soooo ready for the 15th to be here. I just want to know--it hate all of this limbo time. It's a little demotivating and hard to get passionate about your workday.

I am ready to not have to begin every sentence with, "Well, if I have a job on the 15th, then ____." I feel like every piece of my life right now is on hold. It's like we can't commit to anything, we can't make any decisions. It's hard because the rest of your life goes on in the meantime. And even if I keep my job, it is likely that not everyone I work closely with will keep theirs. I am very worried about losing my boss--I love her and have enjoyed working for her. She truly gets the "work/life" balance aspect and is very realistic in her expectations--dont' get me wrong, we definitely are expected to bring our A-game, but she knows that life is not scripted and things happen.

However, I am very optimistic about the outcome for me and my territory. I honestly think I will be retained based on the information the company has provided about retention criteria, etc. You never know, but I do have a good feeling. If I am not retained, that's OK as well. I know that there is something out there I am supposed to be doing instead. It'll be a little difficult for awhile though, but I have no doubt that we will survive just fine. I know God is definitely watching out for us and I have complete trust that he is going to provide the best outcome for me and my family.

Getting to Know You....

I saw these questions on a friend's blog and realized I haven't done something like this in awhile. I love looking back at my answers to stuff like this and either laughing or wanting to crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment. But, I never delete--it's still out there because it was a part of me that time. The good. And the bad. ANYWAY, here's some new questions--they'll serve as a time stamp of my life right now!

Here's the blog that these questions originated from.....Thank you to JenGetsFancy for letting me copy of you though!

The Questions:

1. If a person has a booger in their nose. and you can see it, do you tell them?

This is a tough one....definitely telling hubby, kiddos, and a few close friends, but beyond that, I am not sure if I could do it. I think I am too chicken!

2. What are you passionate about?

I am passionate about life in general right now! I love my life! I thank God everyday for a wonderful husband, 3 great kids, a beautiful home, a wonderful church, and a great job! I truly have everything I could ever want and everything I need!

3. How long have you been blogging?

I started this blog in December of 2005! So almost 5 years--I LOVE blogging and I really like the idea of having my life "time stamped" and my memories documented. I am definitely going to make a book like EB's one day--that was just way too cool!

4. What is your favorite "summer" drink?

It's my favorite "anytime" drink....Diet Mt. Dew. Gotta have 2 a day!

5. What is your favorite type of music?

I am loving the Christian station on my Sirius radio! I love the songs! I don't change the channel at all. I used to skip around station to station, but I don't anymore!

6. Something I do before I go to bed is......?

Rock my baby, wash my face/brush my teeth, and kiss my hubby good night.

7. My Summer vacation plans are...?

A little bit of this and a little bit of that. We have a few mini-vacations planned here and there and a week-long vacation to Oregon in September. I can't wait! I have never been to Oregon and I hear it is absolutely beautiful!

8. My favorite must have, can't live without, beauty product is?

My eyelash extensions--I absolutely love these things. I never have to apply eyeliner/mascara and even without makeup at all, my eyes still look "done". These things are amazing and so easy!

C25K Progress

When I started the Couch Potato to 5k app for my iPhone about 6 1/2 months ago I was skeptical. I didn't really think there was any way I could run a 5k, much less more than 5 minutes at a time. Remember--I AM NOT A RUNNER. AT ALL. However, I was so proud of myself Wednesday night--I ran for 20 minutes straight without stopping or walking! This C25k thing really works! I am only on week 6 of the program, but yes, I have been doing it for 6 plus months now. However, in my defense, it's not that the program is that hard (it was hard though), but it's more of the fact that if I don't get at least 3 runs in per week, then I am just not ready for the next week's program. So, I have had to run a few of the weeks over because I couldn't build up enough stamina. Also, there were some times during the winter that the weather was bad and it kind of messed up my flow, too. I have tried supplementing on my elliptical, but it's not the same at all. Running outside on the solid surface is so much more difficult than the elliptical....But, now I am at the point I have to run 3 times per week because of how much continual running is required....ANYWAY, I really think I might have a shot at the 5k goal I set for myself for Freedom Fest. That would be so cool! YEAH!!!

Meet the Newest Member of the Family

Wanted: Aggressive, go-getter who doesn't mind confrontation. Must be willing to work nights/weekends at minimum wage. No holiday pay. Primary duties will be keeping pest, snakes, and rodents away from house. Any method of removal satisfactory.

Update: Job Filled. By this little gal.

Not sure how old she is, but she is definitely tiny. That's my foot next to her. She saw a squirrel in the yard yesterday (twice her size) and couldn't decide if she should go get it or run away. It was kind of funny.

For the record, I am NOT a cat person. Always been a dog lover. However, desperate times call for desperate measures. I am sick of snakes and scorpions. Maybe this little gal will work out!

BTW, the kids named her Lily. I still call her "that cat" for now. Maybe we'll bond soon. She is kind of cute though....

Memorable Memorial Day Weekend

We had a great time this weekend! We went camping at Table Rock Lake in Missouri and just did NOTHING! Soooo nice! The kids rode bikes and swam in the lake. The trip started with some drama of course though....and yes, it involved the water! We pulled up at the campsites and realized there weren't any water hookups at the campsites, just electric. When I booked the spot, I never thought to check that on water hookups because I assumed if we had a 50 amp electric hook up, then water would be there too! However, that wasn't the case. So, we saw a water spicket at the next camp spot and since the people weren't there yet, Richie hurried and pulled the motorhome over there and filled up the water tank on the motorhome. And as he finished, the people for that spot pulled in the campground! We pulled back in our spot only to realize there was a place to fill our water tank within reach from our camp spot without having to move the motorhome! Oh well--we had water at that point and that's all that mattered.

And I am embarrassed to say that my kids are such city kids! When they saw the lake and found out that was the "pool" for the weekend, they both complained how the water was dirty! I was cracking up! After they got in though, they forgot about the "dirty" water and just swam and had a great time with the "waves" from the boats going by. And Landen got in the lake too, but he wasn't too fond of it. I was surprised because he just loves his bath! But I guess this wasn't the same.

At night, we sat outside and played games with the kids. They love playing the "ABC" game with food, names, etc and it brought many laughs. During the day, Kylie provided entertainment with her karaoke/dancing to ringtones and songs on our phones. Cheap entertainment, I know!!

And I didn't get a lot of pictures--well, I got some, but not as many as I wanted. I brought the camera, however the card wasn't in the camera, so it would only hold 10 pictures. And now, I can't get them off of the camera until I figured out where the cable is to plug it into the computer...and the pictures are so cute, too! However, Richie got a couple on his phone, so I included them!

The "dirty" pool!!

Landen's first swim in the lake!