Wednesday, March 03, 2010

My Parent's Handbook

First of all, Becky and Katie, thank you so much for your sweet words about Kylie's post and how I handled it. It meant a lot. You see, I struggled for a few days about posting about that whole situation--I was SO embarrassed. I thought, "I don't want people knowing about this, what kind of parent will they think I am??" But you guys made my day with your sweet words! We have been going to a new church for a few months now and absolutely love it. We also started a Home Group and we are studying "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp. I have to give credit to the book for how I handled Kylie's situation. I have learned so much in just two chapters of that book. I was really moved by the concept of two parts of a child that you need to reach. Basically you can discipline a child all you want, but if their heart isn't in the right place, now amount of discipline will matter. So, you need to also help them align their heart with God. It sounds simple, but in reality, it's so hard to do! What I mean is that when our kids act up, it's a whole lot easier to spank, give them time-out, or yell than to sit down and help them understand the deeper issue at hand. It's going to take more time when my kids act up, but it is time well worth the investment. I have three wonderful kiddos and I want to make sure that they stay on the right path, follow God, and always desire to do the right thing.
I am by far not perfect in my parenting--trust me, I have yelled plenty! But I am really going to commit to stepping back and trying to get a little deeper with them. I have to give a ton of credit to Richie. He really tries to sit down with the kids and explain to them about what they have done wrong and why they are being punished. Now we both need to add the centrality of the heart to the conversation.
I strongly encourage anyone with kiddos to read this book. It's designed as a bible study, but you can definitely read it on your own and work through the handbook. Or hey, get a few people together and study it! You won't regret it!!

1 comment:

Katie said...

I am so happy I encouraged you. I love that book, it is excellent. I think I will get it back out it has been a while. You are so right it is heart issue and you need to really spend the time with your kids to make them understand all of that. You did such a good job. I am so glad you posted it because we all have struggles in this area too. I have done my share of yelling, and we did spanking and I will tell you now none of that works. I ended up becoming crazy stressed mom. I always tell myself that my children are really God's children and I am honered to have them and I want to do the best I can with His help.