How to Deal

Well, we received some sad news today. Kyle's Papaw Sam passed away. It's the first time I have had to really tell the kids that someone has died. Sure, we have experienced death since they've been alive, but they've been to young to really understand. But today they understood. They are doing OK and they even want to go to the funeral which I will definitely make sure they attend. It's always hard when you lose someone close. Sometimes it's even harder to know what to do for someone when they lose a loved one. You don't want to say the wrong thing, yet you don't want to seem like you don't care. I think the best thing to do is to just listen. For once we aren't expected to have the right words. The person needs support. They need to know it's perfectly OK to cry. They need time. They need to know you care.

Metabolism Meltdown

Well, it finally happened...my brain told my body that I am gonna turn 30 in about 6 weeks. Nice job, brain....Because now my body decided that there is no need to work so hard and burn fat. It's like my body went into retirement....fat siesta. I don't know what it is, but 6 pounds later I am NOT liking it. Great and don't forget I have to have bikini body by April 9th or else I am gonna look like the hail-damaged whale that washed up on the beach instead of the blushing bride.
I wonder, do they make full body bathing suits? :)

You're Gonna Miss This

I heard a song on the radio the other day and it struck me. The lyrics instantly sent pictures flashing through my head....a rent house in Russellville--small, but perfect. It held everything I owned. It had spiders the size of Dallas, worms the length of the Rio Grande, but I couldn't ask for more. It was a home and to a 20 year old girl, it was everything I ever needed. Another picture hit me....cooking spaghetti O's on the stove (for me to eat), homework every night, a console TV in the living room, a couch out of my Grandma's house. I was happy as could be. But I was ready for more. Ready to graduate, get a real job, real house, real car, have kids. I wanted tomorrow. I forgot to enjoy today.
Another picture came after that. It was Weston's ultrasound picture. He was 20 weeks old in my tummy and looked similar to a dinosaur exhibit at the time. But he was mine--a baby in my belly. Then another picture--Weston at about 7 months old, and sick. It was during the worst ice storm to hit here. I remember the navy jogging suit he was wearing, the bottle of 1/2 water and 1/2 milk I was hoping desperately would stay down (he was throwing up constantly for a week). I remember sleeping in the guest bedroom with him that night scared to death to let him sleep by himself for fear he would choke if he got sick.
Another picture--Kylie in the hospital. Not the day she was born. But 5 days later. She was sick--they thought meningitis. I was scared that I had been given a blessing only to have to give it right back. I remember rocking her in the hospital room, with her IV in her foot, full of fear. Something a 24 year old girl shouldn't have to think about.
Then, it hits me. It's 2008. This girl has a Master's degree, lives in a modular, and those kids are 8 years and 5 years old. What happened? Where did the time go? And more importantly, what's on my mind. The same thing as it was back then....tomorrow. Never really giving much thought to today. Never realizing that I am in the perfect place. I have the opportunity to save money, I have a job that allows me time with my kids.
Why is it that we never really enjoy today...which used to be our tomorrow. It used to be the day we were waiting for. Now it's just a road block to the rest of our life. It should be our life. It's the only thing we have control over. Yesterday is gone. You can't have it back. Tomorrow is a full day away....it will get here inevitably. But today is already here--it's an unsculpted piece of time that you have the ability to mold into your own creation.
Here's those lyrics....what pictures go through your head?

Trace Adkins' "You're Gonna Miss This"

She was staring out the window of that SUV
Complaining, saying "I can't wait to turn 18"
She said "I'll make my own money and I'll make my own rules"
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said "I was just like you"

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her "It's a nice place"
She says "It'll do for now"
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says "Baby, just slow down"

Cause you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says "They don't bother me.
I've got 2 babies of my own.
One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but ...

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"

Enjoy every day you are given...if not, YOU"RE GONNA MISS IT!!

Reading Machine

I am blown away by Kylie's reading ability! Last night, she sat down and asked me if she could read a story to me. I said yes, and she had me pick out a book. Then, she proceeded to read and did awesome. There were words like "everywhere", "kangaroo", etc and she read them with no hesitation! She's only in kindergarten! I was just amazed because 2 months ago, they started learning the sounds of letters and a few blends. Her progress is phenomenal! She is now in Accelerated Reading at a school--a program that has the kids read books and then test over them. The get so many points per correct test answer and prizes are given at certain point levels. She loves it and her Momma couldn't be more proud! Maybe she'll end up with an English degree like me! :)
I am feeling much better today! I am glad because you don't really have the ability to be sick on the job--it's non-stop go-go-go!
It looks like we may get some yucky weather tonight--but of course it'll be ice and junk that's not fun to play in--just dangerous to drive on! I can already hear sleet hitting the roof....

Ill-fated Weekend

I have some of the best intentions...and the worst results! I really wanted to get a lot accomplished this weekend--clean out the 5th bedroom, pick up the house, organize my office....the list goes on. Instead, I got sick. You know the throwing up, green feeling kind of sick. It was awful. I HATE feeling that way. But, I am hoping I have gotten it over with and can get on with my week. I have a busy week ahead of me, so I have to feel better!
Friday night Richie and I went to a going-away party of one of my dear friends, Amanda. She is leaving for Alabama in a couple of weeks for a new job and I am dearly going to miss her. She and I got our Master's degrees together and we experienced every Thursday evening with each other for nearly two years. She's been there through some family changes, job changes, moving, you name it. She is the most positive, uplifting person you will ever meet. She loves you for who you are--not who everyone wants you to be. The girl couldn't find a jealous bone in her body if she tried! I will dearly miss her, however I hope to go visit her while she's in Alabama. She only stays there for about 9 months and then she'll move to New Orleans permanently. So, good luck Amanda! You will be dearly missed!

I wanna talk about me!

I spent the day today bragging on myself. Yep, the whole day. Now before you start accusing me of being conceited and full of ME, you probably need the rest of the story. My new job requires us (the employee) to write our own performance reviews. I really like the idea! It's a ton of work, but compared to my last job, it's nice to be able to document your year's worth of accomplishments and discuss them with your supervisor. At my last job, I felt like my boss basically reflected on the last 2 months before the review and gave no consideration to accomplishments 10 months before that. Basically, you were better off to goof around the first 6 months and then work your way into superstar employee right before the review. In fact, I got totally robbed on my last review at my old job. I had some of my biggest accomplishments, but since they were in March and my review wasn't until the following February (nearly 11 months later), they were never noted.
So, this process is pretty cool! You basically file any emails that are sent to you bragging on your abilities, awards given to over the year, etc and write a review to turn in. Then you grade yourself in each of the categories. Your boss reviews it adds/subtracts and it's turned in from there!

The Dust Collector

I found this big, bulky machine in my office today...it had the words "elliptical machine" on it. No seriously, I FINALLY started working out again. I have to get rid of the jiggle before April! Richie does have 3 days in Mexico before we marry to change his mind ya know! :)
We have about 75% of the required paperwork ready for the wedding. We both at least have passports, so we will make it there at least!

Bedwetting Blues

Ok, don't read the title and think I have bedwetting issues! Miss Kylie does though. And I am frustrated by it--we wash PJ's, sheets, you name it, she wets it! So, I have been doing a little research. To my amazement, there are tons of causes beyond the "bladder hasn't developed yet" reason. So, we are on a test mission to determine if she has any of these issues. First stop, blood work--we were testing for Type 1 diabetes, thyroid issues, and kidney problems. Thankfully, she had none of these! Our next stop is the Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. It seems that sleep apnea is a big cause of bedwetting in children. Some symptoms of this are snoring, irritability upon waking, and deep sleep. Kylie has all of these. So, we will see what the ENT says next month when we visit. The "fix" for this is to remove the tonsils and adenoids. If it'll help Kylie breathe better at night and not wet the bed, sign her up!

Where Did the Weekend Go?

Well, it's Sunday night and I am trying to figure out how I got here. See, I was supposed to get a weekend. The last thing I remember was Friday on an airplane heading home and now it's Sunday night and I am getting ready to head back to work! I still have a suitcase in my floor from my trip, a dirty house, and no groceries! I guess that's life though...it just goes faster and faster.
Obviously I don't have a lot to discuss from the weekend since I barely had time to enjoy it but it's good to be home.

Cult of Personality

Well, training is winding down....one more day (actually only 1/2 day left) and I am heading home. Today was pretty cool though. We did these personality profiles and the interesting part about them was that they are the perception of your peers. Most personality tests are ones that you answer questions and based on your answers you get lumped into a "type". I liked this profile, although you have to keep in mind the subjectivity aspect. What I mean is that it is only based on 5 people's responses and therefore if you asked another 5 people, you could get a different response. I tried to pick people from my past job and present job so that I could get a well-rounded perspective. I have a completely different role at my last job, so I wanted to see if that had any bearing or not.
Anyway, I came out as Expressive-Expressive....not surprising huh? :)
What that means is that I am people-focused, love to share my ideas and thoughts, and I reinforce others on the opinions and feelings they express. It also said I was creative in problem-solving and handling the concerns of my customers.
The people I picked were my current coworker that shares my territory, my new boss, a girl that was on my marketing team at my previous job, a girl that went on one of the marketing events I managed, and a friend at my last job that didn't have any direct business contact with me, but was able to provide that outside perspective since she worked in my department. The other aspect that the test graded was versatility. In this role, I was more on the versatile side, but had some lack of versatility show up. I agree with that--I don't think in every role we play that our versatility will be the same. I have a feeling the split was the different perspective from former and present coworkers.
It was pretty interesting...the most interesting aspect however was reading others and learning how to best communicate with the various social styles. I think that we all tend to try and interact with each other in a "blanket" format and then we feel frustrated when it doesn't give us a "blanket" result.
I also bought a new book on my trip called 4 Paws from Heaven. It's little devotionals centered around the writer's pet and creates a metaphor in how we as "masters" of our dogs share a similar role with our Master. I will try and share some of my favorite insights from the book on here.
Also, while I have been in Chicago, there has been more drama at home. Seems the neighbors want to be difficult and have left a letter on my metal building about driving on the back road. It's a little frustrating because I think their behavior is a result of fear--fear that my Dad is planning to develop his property, fear that a bunch of people are going to use the road, etc. But where the most frustration comes into play is that I have land and I have no easement. I just get sick of all the hype. I wish my parents would just deed my the driveway that I built or provide a written easement on it. I can't worry about stuff like that anymore--I need to be able to sell my land/building without issues.
Well, it's off to our "graduation" celebration...here's to Friday and no snow so I can come home!!

Chicago Chat

Well, I made it to Chicago! Hey, they don't call it the Windy City for nothing. I about blew away! But it's good to be back and reconnect with some old friends I made from Initial Sales Training. Tonight, we had a reception and they showed the BCS game on a movie screen. The only bad thing about training is that we are always busy. Sometimes it's nice to go back to the room and just read/watch TV. Oh well--good food and a nice hotel. Can't complain!

L-O-V-E

No one falls in love by choice,
it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance,
it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance,
it is by CHOICE.

Wow, short but powerful. I choose to be in love.

Boob Bashing

Ok, now that I know the results, I have to tell you about a little experience I had yesterday. I found a lump in my breast about 6 weeks ago and went to my gyno. Well, he was concerned and ordered an ultrasound and mammography. Yesterday was the big day. Let me tell ya, I never realized how flat they can get a boob...especially one that has been surgically enhanced! It was the weirdest experience of my life. Having my breast flattened onto a counter in front of me. I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. I mean I have heard about having a mammography, but never realized what "flattened" means! However, I can proudly say I am as healthy as a horse--just a couple of good-sized cysts. And I don't have to do that again for several years!
Well, about time to pack for another week in Chicago--except I am gonna freeze this time! I lucked out last April and had AWESOME weather, but this time I am sure it'll be a little colder! Oh well, we have a busy agenda, so we may never see the light of day! :)

It's 2008 BABY!

It's the first day of the New Year and I am NOT ready for 2008. I didn't get my to-do list accomplished at all. But hey, I did enjoy my time off and I am sure gonna miss sleeping in every morning! Hey, how about those Hogs? Oh yeah, they forgot to show up for the football game! That game was AWFUL! I am embarrassed.
I just realized that I didn't do a Christmas post--I skipped straight to the New Year. So, I guess I should back up and reflect on Christmas Day. Once again, it was an exciting morning--however I had to go drag the kids out of bed! But when they got up and saw all the great presents, they woke up very quickly. Weston loved his PS3 and Kylie was thrilled to get a dollhouse complete with the fixings! Plus, plenty of DS games wrapped up the present list. Kylie and Weston also got some cute new clothes (which thrilled Mom!). All in all, it was a great holiday. It was also my first year to host Christmas breakfast. My parents and grandparents came over and we had every breakfast food possible. So much that by lunch, we were too full to enjoy the Christmas meal. Speaking of lunch, we went to Richie's parents where the rest of his family had gathered. I got a new set of dishes--that serves 16--from them which thrilled me. I really wanted a new set of dishes!
I also got the COMPLETE MacGyver series on DVD!
Well, tomorrow is back to work. YUCK. I don't dread it too bad though. I have had plenty of time to rest and it's a short week anyway. Next week, I will be in Chicago all week for training, so if I can make it through 3 days, I'll be good.
Have a great week!