Sunday, April 17, 2011


Words--I have plenty of them right now to say, but for some reason I can't.  I am baffled. I am shocked.  I never imagined the cruelty of people.  I have seen my fair share of heartbreaks and hurt feelings with me and my family, but gosh, this?
And how do I remain faithful when I don't understand to begin with? I know faith isn't connected to understanding. I realize we don't always like the outcome of situations. I know life isn't fair or perfect.  But just once, just once can't the right thing happen? Just once can't the honest guy prevail? Just once can't people treat each other with respect? Why am I asked to forgive when others continue to hurt me and the ones I love?
I know I sound so bitter in this post, but like I said I have a lot of words.  Words that are meshed inside feelings.  Words that are masked with as much of a smile as I can muster.  And sometimes words that are hidden behind a blank stare.
I am sick and tired of it.  I am sick of being sick and tired of it.
I only want what's best for the ones I love.  And I know that maybe right now God knows what's best and I don't.  That's the ONLY thing keeping me sane.  That's the ONLY thing keeping me from using my words.  That's the ONLY thing keeping me from lashing out.  Because when it's all said and done, that's all I have left--hope that God is going to show me that he has a better answer than the one I thought was best.
So, I will keep my words unspoken.  I will put my faith in the One that holds the answer.  And I will trust--trust that He knows what he's doing!

But, as it is written, "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him."  1 Corinthians 2:9


meeksmiles33 said...

I know exactly how you feel. We have been going through some things that are a little similar to your situation. I am so sorry!! I know how it can consume your thoughts. Please know God is in control and sometimes we do not know what is going on, but we have to keep on going. It may not make sense but it makes sense to God. Please call me if you just need to vent or whatever!! I am praying for you and your family!!

Laura said...

Tara, I know God has a plan for your family. It is so hard to be patient but have faith in Him and he will take care of your family. There is a reason for everything God does, just sit back and enjoy your husband, your kids and your new beautiful house! Your faith will revail over all evil!!

Laura said...

prevail, not revail. sorry.

Jen S. said...

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with issues such as this Tara!! Please know you are in my thoughts and I hope so badly this stuff gets worked out. You are a great, sweet person....don't forget that!
Sending hugs to you!

SheWolf said...

Shaina--thank you so much for your sweet words! It means a lot. I hate to hear you guys have faced something similar! :( I'll keep you in my prayers!
Laura--thanks girl! Thanks for the shoulder and the ear. I know you are sick of hearing about this as much as I am talking about it! :)
Jen--you are so sweet. I appreciate the kind words! Appreciate the hugs!! :)