I Have a Choice

After the last two tumultuous weeks, I had some drive time Monday and Tuesday and that always gives me plenty of time to think! :)

And think I did.  And I made a few decisions.  But those thoughts and decisions didn't come until after I heard a sweet song on the radio Tuesday.....It's called Blessings by Laura Story.  And what's so ironic is that another friend who knows the pain in my life right now blogged about the same song! 

But the words in that song reminded me of a few things.  The song is full of questions like "What if blessings come through raindrops?" or "What if the trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?" And those questions got me to thinking--I have a choice.  I can choose to be bitter and resent the people that have hurt us or I can choose to see the situations as what they might possibly be--blessings.  Looking back in life, some of the most trying times of my life ended up being some of the biggest blessings. And I have to trust Him that this very situation is a great example of that yet again.  So, I did a weird thing yesterday--I invited some of the very people that hurt us to go to church with us. After I did it, I thought, "what did I just do??" I texted Richie and told him and said I didn't really know why I did it and he just responded, "Because you are a good person with a kind heart. That's why I married you." Made me feel so good.  Then, a few minutes later, someone else got wind of what I did by overhearing a conversation with the people and I got a text out of the blue that said, "....I overheard ___ and ___ talking about a text you sent to ___ about them going to ya'lls church this Sunday.  I am so proud of you and Richie. You have both handled this mess with such grace and poise.  You have no idea how much I admire and appreciate you. You will both be blessed for letting Christ's love and grace flow through you!!" I had tears in my eyes after reading it--It made me feel so blessed to have people in my life that care and love us.  And after that I made a choice.  I am done with hurting.  I am done with this stuff consuming our lives.  I can't change people.  But I can change my response.  And my response now is I refuse to be bitter.  God knows what he's doing and I have to trust that.  Until I understand (and I may never) the reason, I will continue to love these people.  And I can honestly say from that moment on, I am at peace.  I am happy with whatever outcome may head our way in this.  

  Here are the lyrics to the song.  Such wonderful words!

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise