A Wonderful Surprise!

Well, I had my OB appt today and I had a pleasant (and unexpected) surprise! After the normal check-up by the doctor and Q&A session, she attempted to listen to the heartbeat...but she couldn't find it. So, she sent me in for an ultrasound to confirm the heartbeat. I was a little nervous, but honestly I wasn't too bad because I have felt some light movement and pressure, so I know something has been going on in there. So, I went to the ultrasound room and I got to see my baby! And this time it looks like a baby! :) Turns out, the baby was on its tummy and curled up, so that's why they couldn't get the heartbeat with the external doppler. He (or she) squirmed around a little during the ultrasound, then stuck its thumb in its mouth! Too cute! That's when the tech snapped a picture for me to keep. It was such a pleasant surprise to actually get to see the baby. I called Richie as soon as the appointment was over and drove all the way to his work to show him the picture! I was grinning ear to ear all the way there. I am so much more relaxed now that I can tell the baby is developing normally and looks great. The heart rate was excellent too at 171 bpm. My cystic fibrosis screening was also negative, so that's another great blessing as well.
Praise the Lord for a great day full of surprise and blessing!

A Camping We Will Go!

We had such a blast last weekend camping! I am so glad Richie finally caved and bought our motorhome. The kids were in heaven riding their bikes and playing outside all day. They had Mei-Mei and Papaw next door that they bugged non-stop, so they were entertained the entire time. I didn't do much--I am still sick at times. But, I did cook which is a first in about 2 months, so that was impressive to the family!
During the weekend, Kylie lost her first tooth. The girl is so brave--she just yanked it out herself. She has wanted that tooth out as soon as she felt it was the tiniest bit loose. I was shocked when she showed me that she pulled it out herself!
I have my 2nd OB appointment on Thursday and I am ready to go. I am ready to hear the heartbeat again!

Where's the Relief?

So, today I am officially 12 weeks. The day I have been waiting for anxiously during the last 6 weeks. I just knew that when today got here, I would be cured of this morning sickness! Well, today I am home--sick. What gives? Can I get a break? I keep telling myself that the hormones mean the baby is doing great, so I guess I will just embrace that thought for just a few more days....then can I feel better? I really need to get the motorhome ready for this weekend--I still have to make it through a Wal-Mart trip long enough to buy food for the weekend.
On a better note, I guess I can be glad I am sick today--it's raining a monsoon out there! The kids are spending a few nights at Kyle's house to make up for the weekend that they will be home to go camping.

Baby Blue!

So, I did the Intelligender test. It says boy! Ok, well at least I think it said boy, but Richie said he thinks it says girl! I thought it would be easier to tell the difference, but obviously not if we are thinking opposite of each other! Like I said, no purchases are gonna be made based on this test, but it was fun to at least get an idea of what it might be.
So, we have been focusing on boy names and I think we agree (somewhat) on Landen Sawyer. Richie knows I have this "thing" with any name that I have associated with someone. Mostly, it's kids--you know, the snotty-nosed brat that you have stuck in your head when you hear a name. Well, I don't have Landen associated with any kids, but I did work with a Landon at my last job. So, with the alternate spelling and the faint memory of the person, I am OK with Landen. Our friends Will/Jana have a daughter named Lakyn, so I thought it's kind of cute to have Lakyn and Landen! :)
We are busily preparing for our first motorhome adventure this weekend. We aren't going far, far away, but to the kids, it's still a camping trip. Kylie is so excited about it--she keeps wishing it was Friday already! I really, really hope the weather holds up for us though. I am hearing some scary forecasts like snow and cold weather! What happened to spring?

Why Wait?

Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a patient person at times and that I hate surprises (if I know they might be coming). So, this whole waiting to find out the gender of the baby is KILLING ME! I can't wait! So, I heard about this thing called Intelligender. It's an at-home test you can do to determine the sex of the baby. It's about 82% accurate, so I doubt I will decorate the nursery based on the results, but it will be fun to find out what I might be having. So, I bought the test today. You have to do it with first-morning urine, so stayed tuned to find out what the results are tomorrow!!

It Takes a Village to Raise a Pregnant Lady

The last 6 weeks have been a memorable blur. It seems like I will never be able to enjoy a meal, stand without wanting to throw up, or spend an evening with my family in the living room and not in bed. But the days are getting better. Now that I look back, I had to wonder and then realize how I managed to make it through that time. Well, it was everyone joining together and taking care of me that got me through it!! From my husband's breakfast in bed every morning (what a sweetie!), to my Mom's pot roast, to my grandma's home cooking, as well as Richie's mom's soup, noodles, lasagna....etc, to my housekeeper Adelina's cooking and cleaning and not to mention doing my laundry for a couple of weeks! I couldn't have done it without everyone chipping in and helping me out. It was so sweet yesterday when Richie told me how much he appreciates me because he realizes now how much I do. So thank you to everyone! I am starting to feel better at least part of the day, so it's nice to be able to enjoy a few daylight hours and get a couple of things done!
The family was split yesterday between the 2 kiddos' events. Weston was in a basketball tournament and Kylie had a cheer competition in Tulsa. Weston's team lost their first game. We left Kylie's competition before the awards ceremony so I honestly don't know how they did.
This weekend we went and bought a new runner rug and throw pillows for the motorhome. It's slowly coming together! Hopefully I will be able to put a little more into it as I start feeling better.
Well, that's the weekend--Now on to tackling the week!

Happy Birthday to me!

I have to say today doesn't really feel like my birthday, but then again maybe birthdays after 30 don't feel the same anymore. I am officially "in my thirties" and I think that might be a little more painful than just turning 30 last year. This birthday I get to experience nausea and on top of it, I have a cold! I have blown my nose 45,628 times in the last 48 hours! (OK, maybe not THAT much, but it's really, really close).
We had our 1st doctor appointment last Thursday and all looks very well! The baby measured 9 weeks, 2 days, so it's right on target. I am still not showing though! I know, I know everyone tells me to enjoy that blessing, but it's hard to feel pregnant without a little bump. Richie actually commented today that I looked like I was showing, but I just can't grasp that I am just yet. But I know the baby does some major growing in terms of size in the next two weeks, so I am sure I will pop out very soon.
Weston had some mealtime difficulties last night. It was such a hard situation, but I had to stick to my guns. You see, he has the worst picky-eater syndrome! Then, he proceeds to snack and snack between meals. It's hard to get him to try things, too. So, we had a little "come to Jesus" meeting yesterday about his eating habits. Well, 2 hours later, he's snacking on popcorn right before dinner! I know people in the family (grandparents especially) have babied him because they just want him to eat since he's so small, but I honestly think that's contributed to the issue. So, I told him from now on, he MUST ask permission before he eats anything. He will try the dinner we are having first.
Our first test was last night. Richie got some Arby's Roast Burgers and Weston ate half of one. However, the struggle came because it had lettuce on it which he absolutely hates. But he ate part of the sandwich and then started freaking himself out! He looked at the lettuce and then would get sick. He did the whole "vomit in the mouth" issue. It was frustrating! But, I want him to get out of his hot dog and spaghetti o rut! He eats the same three things then snacks on chips, cookies, popcorn the rest of the time. So, I am hoping I can get him to give a few other foods a shot--he is usually surprised when he tries something because he actually likes it.

Light at the End of the Tunnel?

I sure hope I am not jinxing myself, but I have actually had a mellow "morning sickness" day! Woo hoo! I still had to take my meds to make it through the day, but the day progressed a lot easier than any day I have experienced in the last month. I hope I am on the downside of this roller coaster and that it soon comes to a stop. But, again I thank God everyday that the hormones are strong and know that the baby is benefiting from them!
Tomorrow is our 1st doctor's appointment and I am so excited. I can't wait to see Richie's face when he sees the baby for the first time. I know what to expect and know what's to come, but to see it through a "newbie's" eyes will be awesome.
My mom and I shopped at the Growing Kids Sale tonight--this is the first time I have shopped the sale in a few years. But, I really wanted a jump start on baby stuff and knew that I could probably get some great deals. And did I ever! I spent on $152 and got 12 items...bassinet, baby monitor, baby wipe warmer, travel swing, changing pad w/cover, bathtub, head support for carseat, Boppy w/extra cover, baby sleeping supports, floor playmat, Bumbo, and baby sling. I can't believe I got some high ticket items for so cheap! The bassinet was only $25! That's incredible! So, we are on a great start for the baby's room.

Bye, Bye Opie

Well, Richie and I did one of the hardest things we've had to do since we've been together. We gave Opie away. It makes perfect sense, but it was very hard to do. But, we couldn't ever get him to potty train, he was constantly destroying the carpet in the house and he would get into anything when you were away. If you put him in a kennel while you were gone, he would mess all over himself. He had severe separation anxiety and it wouldn't be fair to him or us to let it continue that way. I was put in connection with a lady that does animal rescue. She is a very sweet lady and she will place him in a foster home (possibly her own home) until she screens interested candidates and finds the perfect home for him. It's a much better situation than if we had placed an ad in the paper or just gave him away to someone who seemed interested. With the issues that he has, he will need someone who can be patient and help him change his ways!
So, it's a sad, sad day, but I know deep down everyone will be much better off.
Tonight, Kylie is going to participate in the UAFS Fashion Show. She won't be in the show, but will be the door prize girl--the Vanna White of the night! She's pumped!

Kidney Bean Baby!

Ok, yes I will admit I WORRY to death over the littlest thing. There I said it. However, today I just couldn't let a worry go. I knew that I wouldn't rest until I knew the answer. So, here's the story. Last night I felt good. Yes, good. Weird for me since I have spent the last two weeks sick as a dog. But I didn't get too worked up about it. I mean I did have heartburn, so hey I wasn't GREAT, but I wasn't nauseated! So, this morning I get up shower, get ready, and head out the door--all without eating a single thing and no nausea! Ok, weird again. But I ate some breakfast at IHOP and went about my day. Then, I had a great lunch! Ok, so I am getting a little concerned at this point. But, hey enjoy the good times while they last right? So, I did. But by 4 pm on the way home when I hadn't had the slightest hint of nausea and felt great, I began to panic a little. I know the lack of pregnancy symptoms tend to be a sign of bad things. So, I got concerned...so concerned I decided that I would call a pregnant friend of mine who is a "straight-shooter" and get her opinion. To my surprise, she was concerned too and told me to call my doctor. Well, the doctor seemed concerned too! Ok, now I am worried. But, it was 4:30 by then, so they just said stop by in the morning and they would pull some blood. Well, I know that 1 blood pull won't give any definite answers and would just leave me worrying all weekend long if my symptoms didn't return. So, I went to the ER. Yes, the ER. I decided I want to make sure things were OK. I have also had a little pain on my right side, but nothing I would've worried about.
So, anyway, I get there and they decide to pull blood and do an ultrasound to find out what was going on. Well, 4 hours later, I found out the greatest news ever! The baby is fine! It is 7 weeks 6 days (several days ahead of my count) and has a heartbeat of 151 bpm! It couldn't be better. I got to see the little guy/gal on the ultrasound just hanging out in there. Let me tell you, I felt SO relieved! It was worth every minute there to know that I can have a great day and be hungry and feel good and that there is nothing to worry about. So, yes, I am paranoid, but it sometimes to pays to get answers.
Now I get to rest peacefully tonight!

My Valentine's Weekend

I think I have the sweetest husband...wait, I know I have the sweetest husband! I had the BEST Valentine's Day EVER this weekend. It was the thought, the planning, the effortless day on my part that made it so absolutely special. First, I had to run to Wal-Mart and when I got back there was a package and card waiting for me on the counter. He had REMEMBERED a vase that I picked out a couple of weeks ago at Hobby Lobby and went back and got it for me. Then, he had the cutest card ever...I need to take a pic of it. Then, he told me to be ready at 3 pm. OK! Well, we leave at 3 and turn right on Hwy 10 and I'm thinking what in the world could be this way? The Bearcat? But, no he took me back to the place he proposed a year and a half ago...Mt. Magazine! We ate at the restaurant there and had a window seat to the beautiful view! Then, we get in the car and he hands me a "serious" card. So, so sweet! From there, we went and hung out at a few of the overlooks....such a beautiful view. Then, he offered to take me shopping! WOW! But, I am not feeling wonderful from the morning sickness, so I was happy to just go home and hang out there. What an absolute sweetheart!

Morning Sickness!

Ok, after 1 week of queasiness, I am absolutely sure that I am in the throes of morning sickness. I am happy....and miserable. Happy because I know it's such a good sign and that God has his hand on this baby. But, boy, I feel awful! Yesterday, I woke up with a bloody nose. Then, I started to pass out in the shower. And don't forget the nausea and hurling! Luckily, I have a great manager who is so understanding ( amen, for female bosses!). My doctor has prescribed me Zofran and it does seem to help a bit, but nothing is going to make it all go away. So, if you see me and I have this "look" on my face, I'm not mad, but you might want to move quick, because I am probably gonna hurl!
Kylie had such a great week--from winning the pageant last weekend to her latest accomplishment--a back handspring! Yes, my little Kylie officially did her back-handspring without anyone spotting her! Boy, was she SO excited! She showed me, she showed her Daddy, well, she showed anyone who would watch! As soon as I can get video of it, I'll be sure and post it on here.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and in my week of wretching, the only thing I could manage to buy for Richie was a card. I feel horrible! It just takes everything I have to get through the day! But, when I told him I didn't have a present, he told me that I did--in my belly! So, I am glad he sees how hard I am working on "making" his present!

A Sick Bunch of People!

Well I am ready for the weekend and it's only Sunday night! But this weekend has been so busy with the pageant and then today has been spent with some sick people! First, Richie has been so sick since yesterday. I finally got him to go to the dr and he has a stomach virus. Great. He's sleeping on the couch tonight! Then, my Dad is in the hospital--he was having chest pains at church this morning and his blood pressure spiked and so they took him to the ER. I stayed up there about 3 hours or so and thought he was going home, so I came home to take care of Richie. Well, my Mom called later and they actually decided to keep him overnight because his pain came back and they are unsure of the exact cause. He had a quintuple bypass about 2 years ago, so needless to say we are always worried about another heart attack. Then, my mom came home and isn't feeling well, so I had to run some medicine over to her house so she could get through the night until she could get to the doctor tomorrow. Finally, Kylie has had a bit of a cough, so I picked up a cough suppressant to help her sleep better tonight (the kids are at Kyle's house until Richie is better).
So, pray for this sick group of people! When you add my morning sickness in there, we are just a pitiful group!

And the winner is...

Yesterday, we spent the day in Bentonville at the Miss Heart of the Ozarks pageant and Kylie competed in the Little Miss Heart of the Ozarks division. I have to admit, I wasn't looking forward to going. Kylie likes to do pageants and I don't mind for her to do them, but it seems that lately she has regressed in her performance when she does them. She has almost gotten shy! Yes, Kylie can act shy! So, when I packed up the car yesterday morning, I told myself, just get the stuff in the car and get through the day. Let Kylie enjoy the day and then go home. When we woke up, I didn't have her sportswear even picked out and nothing was packed, so I sent Kylie in her room to grab something for sportswear and I grabbed my make-up bag. Ok, last time I spent a week shopping and hours packing, so understand, my heart wasn't in this yesterday. I don't want to sound like I dread these things, because I don't. I used to do them, so I know they are fun. It's just frustrating when your little girl acts fun and spunky in life and then gets up on stage and freezes and doesn't even smile.
So, top this off--my morning sickness decided to kick in. The day I am going to be gone all day with tons of little girls, no food readily available and I have the queasies! Don't get me wrong, I welcome the nausea--a great sign things are progressing! Just was a little cumbersome with the day's activities.
Ok, so we get there at 10:30 a.m. for the day's activities. The pageant doesn't start until 6 pm. But we have rehearsals, a tea party, hair and make-up, so the day is packed.
Kylie stays in a good mood the whole day and has a lot of fun. It's time for the pageant and as I am doing Kylie's make-up, I told her the biggest thing to remember and the only thing that matters is to smile. She was worrying about walking and making sure she stood on the little marks. I told her it's OK if she's off a little bit on the mark--just keep smiling!
Well....she smiled and smiled and smiled! And when it didn't matter, she was still smiling! And out of the 7 contestants competing for Little Miss, Kylie is your new Little Miss Heart of the Ozarks!!! Congratulations Kylie!!!
Ok, and I don't have a single picture to post! We weren't allowed to bring cameras in, so as soon as I get some pictures, I will put them on here.

Game Night!

My parents have finally joined the "family of Wii owners" and are all geared up to get some playtime in. So, they invited us over tonight to play games, eat pizza, and hang out! It will be a nice break from the hum-drum of the week. Tomorrow Kylie has a pageant in Bentonville, so I am glad to have a little relaxing time tonight before the long day tomorrow.
There was a little excitement this week--Richie and I ran the "drunk driving" route! Two nights in a row this week we were out in town and got behind two different people that were driving horribly. So, we had to get a hold of the cop on duty and then it was me waiting in the car while Richie assisted in the stop. So, fair warning--if you pass me on the road, you better be on your best behavior!
That's about all I have except to ask that you continue to pray for Richie and I and this pregnancy. It's making me a nervous wreck! I know I need to relax, but that's so hard to do after a miscarriage. Things are progressing, but I need to hear a heartbeat to finally relax!

Sharing the News

Richie and I decided to share some news with the kids this evening. We were watching the Super Bowl and I had him pause the game and here's how the conversation went.
Richie: We are having something.
Kylie: A Super Bowl Party!
Me: Well, yes, sort of, but something else.
Kylie: Food?
Me: Yes, in a minute. But this is different. We're having a b...
Weston: A Baby!
Me: Yes!
Weston: Woo Hoo. (in a sarcastic way)
Me: You aren't happy about that?
Weston: Only if it's a boy!
Kylie: I want a girl!
Me: You guys are going to have to make sure you help Richie for awhile. I might get kind of sick and not feel good, so he'll need help.
Kylie: Yeah, and you'll get fat too.

Lovely. Nothing like a 6 year old to paint the future for you. Anyway, we are having a baby, but I have to admit after last time, we are a little scared and apprehensive. I have been testing my hcg levels to make sure they are progressing correctly, and so far, so good. I guess I am going ahead and putting our great news out there so that you guys can pray for us and this baby. We have faith that God will definitely be with us every step of the way and I know this baby is in his hands. We just hope that everything goes well and the baby is healthy and happy!
Thank you in advance for your prayers--they mean so much!

TGIF

I know it's weird to be glad that Friday is finally when I had two days off this week, but I have to say that I am thrilled it's the weekend! Kylie came over awhile ago to get her hair sponge-rolled for the cheerleading competition tomorrow. Looks like we'll head out in the morning to watch the girls in Tulsa. They aren't actually "competing" this time. They are in the Exhibition category, but the girls don't know the difference--to them it's just so much fun!
On that note, I am going to go and charge up the cameras and get some shut eye!

Winter Weather! Gotta love it!

I have to say that a huge perk of my job is being able to stay home when the weather is bad. Our "general" rule is that if your school is closed, then you don't have to get out in the bad weather. It's nice to be able to spend the day with the kids and not have to bug the rest of the family to watch them or to even have to get them out in the bad weather! I felt sorry for my brother today though--he called his boss and told her he wouldn't be able to make it in due to the weather and she told him that plenty of people in his area had made it and so he could too! That is so wrong! First of all, he's a college student on an hourly wage and if he doesn't feel safe traveling and is willing to lose a day's pay, then I think that's fair. The place he works is like that though and I think it is ridiculous.
We have decided not to take the motorhome to Kylie's competition since it will be later in the afternoon and we can drive there and back in a day. Plus, it is winterized and we don't want to have to re-winterize it later since it's only January and very likely to get cold several more times before we would use it again.
We spent last weekend picking out campsites for this summer. We found a park that we absolutely love and booked a reservation for 4th of July weekend. My grandparents and parents quickly followed, so it looks like a family affair! It will be tons of fun to get out and camp again. The kids are pumped about it! Kylie went with us to check out the parks and she is so excited because they have a swimming pool with cool slides.
My 2nd partner is back at work and I am very happy for him. I know it was a trying time for him, but he proved his integrity and is back at work and happy to be there.
Well, stay safe and warm this week!

Home Body

I am home today due to being a little under the weather. But that gives me time to catch up on my Beverly Hills 90210 marathon. I bought the original Beverly Hills 90210 Season 1 on DVD (Season 2 is on it's way--thank you Ebay) and I am enjoying going back and watching the show from the start. There were a few years I quit watching it, so I thought the best way to see again is from the very beginning. The clothes are hilarious! I remember when the show was originally on the air and just being completely star struck by the actors, their wardrobes and the Beverly Hills life. Now it's just comical! A sign of our times, huh?
Richie is on his way to pick up our new motorhome. I said a little prayer for him today. The motorhome hasn't moved in 2 years and actually more than that if you really think about it since my parents didn't use it much either. Anyway, I know how cold it is and I don't know how good the tires are since it's been parked in the grass. I really hope they don't blow a tire along the way!!! Then, I can't get a hold of my insurance guy this morning to get the insurance started on the new RV, so cross your fingers that he calls me back ASAP to get that started before Richie heads home this afternoon. We haven't told the kids about the motorhome yet--we are just going to wait and let them see it in the driveway when they get home from school! I hope they are as excited as Richie and I are!
Last weekend we went to our first fellowship group at the church we are visiting. We had a great time! It's hard trying to adjust to a new church, new people, etc, but at the very same time it is so exciting and fun! There were only 3 couples present at the group besides us so it was small and informal. Wish us luck as we start exploring our new church a little deeper.
I did receive confirmation that one of my counterparts at work was fired. I am so sad for him and his family. He was the only working one in the family (his wife homeschools the children), so I know that this will be such a tough adjustment for them. But I have to believe that God knows his strengths and what skills he is good at and I know God will find a career that better suits his abilities. No word yet on my other counterpart--I am not allowed to contact him at this time, so I can only wonder if that is due to the possibility he won't be with us much longer. I did receive word yesterday that our manager is already talking with current employees that were displaced during our last realignment in an effort to fill the one vacant position. I have met one person that I know is being considered and he has been with our company for several years and used to sell my product. So I know that he would be a tremendous asset to our team--that's exactly what my area needs right now! So say a prayer that he or someone else with the right experience is brought to our team soon!

Our Home Away From Home

So, we have had a 5th wheel sitting in my yard for nearly 18 months now and NEVER used it. You see it was a gift from my parents for my college graduation. It is a very nice camper--38 feet, huge living room, nice bedroom--you name it, it's in it. However, there was just one small problem with the 5th wheel.....pulling it. You see, I acquired the 5th wheel in the divorce and well, Kyle got the truck. Soooo, not really easy to "travel" with it. Therefore, it's just sat in my yard all of this time. Until now.
Yep, we sold it...and got a new one! I have been bugging Richie for about 6 months or so about trading it in and getting a new one. He wasn't opposed, but it didn't want to do anything that would hamper buying/building a house one day. So, it was bargain shopping for me. I wanted to find something very close in price to my camper so that he would consider trading it. I really miss camping and I know the kids probably don't even remember going--that's how long it's been! I haven't camped in over 2 years!
Well, that's all about to change! So, here's some pictures of our new baby! Our first road trip is going to be to Kylie's cheerleading competition in Tulsa. Wish us luck!

Can I Have a Mulligan on Today?

Today has been absolutely weird and I would love to live out the Groundhog Day movie and try it again. Nothing bad has happened to me or my family, but the news I have gotten from friends has been, well, weird....
First of all, I was talking to Kyle this morning about the whole weekend logistics--you know the "I need clothes, does Kylie have practice" and so forth. I mentioned something about the metal building he is renting and he springs the news on me. He's not waiting until 2010 to get married, he's getting married this spring! Wow! Like I told him, I am more than thrilled for him and Angela, but now I will lose my renter--and I wasn't quite ready for that. Ok, so at this point, the day is still workable. Good news with a twist, but it's workable.
Then I get disturbing news from my manager. Well, she didn't give me the disturbing news--she gave me good news...for me. But I think it may not be good news for my two counterparts that I work with. She wouldn't elaborate, no details. Nothing. After some time passed, I realized that I may be the only person left in my territory that has a job. Very disturbing. I never want to see someone lose their job. This is such a bad time in the economy and job market. Not to mention so many people are being let go in our industry that there are more people than there are jobs.
So, I would like to start the day over! Too much drama for one day. Can we spread this out a bit so I can digest it a little easier?

On to better news. Tomorrow we are going to look a motorhome. I am excited! We are finally trading in the 5th wheel that is sitting out in my yard and has yet to be used. The motorhome is absolutely beautiful! I am saying my prayers tonight that the deal goes well--but I know if it is meant to be, then God will let it happen.

So, I think I am going to take some Tylenol PM and call it an evening. I can't handle anymore news today!

Why Does Everything Never Work Right?

I am so frustrated! So, I had this fascination I told you about that I was SOOOO anxious to try--digital scrapbooking--however, I hook up my new Bamboo pad and install the Photoshop Elements 4 that came with it. The Bamboo pad works great, except when I use it in the PSE4. For some reason the PSE4 did not load up right. So, I reinstalled it, and installed it again, and installed it yet once more. Then I googled "troubleshooting PSE4" and that whole article was WAY over my head. So, I gave up. 5 days later, my Bamboo pad anxiously awaits to be used and I can't figure out how to fix the issue! And it seems like everything I try to use these days doesn't work correctly. What happened to quality?
On to more productive news...so we went to church this morning again. THREE TIMES IN A ROW! It was a great lesson and a little ironic as well. Let me explain. Last night we went to dinner with about 24 other friends and we were sitting next to one couple and the whole discussion of church was brought up. It was funny how the discussion led to how both of us couples had once attended a certain church and felt the whole "not good enough" feeling. We didn't even realize each other had went to church there (I think time lines may be a little different as to when we each attended). Anyway, we were talking about how we felt like it all came down to who you were, who you were related to, or what you do now that kind of defined you. Then, there's the who "judgment" issue that bothered us. Now before I hack someone off, I am certainly not trying to say everyone at that church was that way--I know that's definitely not the case. I am just saying that it seems so hard sometimes to find a church family where you really fit in. (So please don't get all wound up about the above paragraph and take it as a slam) So, today Richie and I were driving to church and discussing people and church again and the whole "fitting in" issue. So, back to today's lesson. It was about how the preacher had went and asked tons of people what came to mind when they heard the word church. Guess what the number one answer was? GUILT. Guilt? Yes, guilt. Some may be surprised by this answer. But, honestly I have to admit that was my first thought too. Why? Because it seems that church and church people place such high expectations on one another--expectations that frankly aren't attainable. And all the while--we are ALL making mistakes, living our lives, etc. But we forget that part. I think it's almost like we enjoy "deflecting" the guilt. And then there's the smaller dose of guilt in that we feel guilty to participate 100% or feel like failures when life is just too difficult at times to do that. I have to say that so far I really feel like we have find a church "vacation home". What I mean is that I am not ready to commit to joining yet, but I am definitely enjoying visiting and getting to know the people and I love the whole rock band worship service! It's been such a blessing to me to go back to church. I really miss the socialization with other girls, other couples, other moms, etc. But, honestly at my old church even when I had those things they just didn't feel right. Why? Because I never could be myself. Sure I tried, but that didn't matter. I was already defined by others as what they wanted me to be. But at this church, I really feel like I am able to define myself!
So thank you Lord for the great opportunity to try a new church and find you again. Thank you for a wonderful career that's been such a blessing in so many ways. Thank you for 2 precious children who sometimes send me to the edge of insanity, yet yank me back to reality with their "chipmunk" laugh and "horse giggle". And thank you for an amazing husband who strives to make each day with me better than the day before. Amen.

My New Fascination

I told Richie today that I think I had found heaven. First, let me back up and say that he bought me a "Bamboo" Pad for Christmas--something that I have wanted for a long time and still have no idea how he knew...Anyway, I have been researching some great uses for it and found this website www.designerdigital.com. Ok, so if you already knew about it, please don't brag or remind me how out of touch I am really getting--just let me enjoy my find. So, I have spent some considerable time on there checking out all of the great backgrounds, fonts, alphabets....OH MY, there is just way too much stuff! I LOVE IT! I can make my own digital cards next year for Christmas!

Kylie Makes a Recovery

Well, good news! Kylie has no broken bones and looks to be just fine sans the road rash/cuts. She "felt" tons better after Dr. Barton (Jackson was booked up OF COURSE!) showed her "her skeleton"! She was absolutely amazed to see her innards--it was cute! I am so glad this weekend is a kid-free weekend. I love the rascals, but hey, I am really ready for a break. I have been home with them for 2 weeks solid and I need some peace and quiet before we gear back up for work, school, basketball, cheerleading....and so on! I am sure gonna miss the downtime with the family though. It's been nice to sleep in and take it easy.
Well, I started working out yesterday and got all dressed and ready for my workout today. However, our TV remote in the bedroom where the Wii is won't cooperate! I beat it and beat it to the point I was furious. The thing has given us problems for awhile. So, I stomped into the living room and started googling a replacement. The don't make the original anymore (wonder why? hhmm, could it be it's a piece of crap!), but they have a "replacement" for it. I am waiting on a response from a ebay guy selling one pretty cheap. So, cross your fingers we get a new remote or I will lose my mind!
So, I guess I won't play Guitar Hero tonight either (it's hooked up to the same TV)...and I was just getting the hang of it! Richie and the kids and I are a regular band these days. It's cute to watch the fam jam out to a little Ted Nugent!
Have a great weekend!

Welcome to 2009!

It's the New Year! Time to make unkept resolutions, exercise like a crazy woman, and pretend to get organized! Ok, maybe it's not that dramatic, but it sure seems like every January brings the same high expectations with NO results to show in December!
Our New Year has already started off with a bang or should I say a crash?? Kylie went to her grandparents' house today with her Dad and rode the 4-wheeler with Lacey Mae (Angela's daughter). Well, they ended up crashing into a barb wire fence and both took a beating. I don't think Kyle realized how bad they were hurt until Lacey Mae went to the ER to get checked out and they found out she had broken some ribs! They originally just thought her had was cut up, but it seems she was beaten up a little worse than that. Well, ever since Kylie has been home, she has done nothing but lay in bed. I am really worried about her--I am afraid she's more beat up than it seems. She has a cut on her stomach right on her ribs and a LOT of road rash all down the top half of her back. My grandparents came over for dinner this evening and she didn't even want to come out of her room to visit! That is not like her at all. So, I don't know what to think. I gave her some Tylenol and I think we will go see Dr. Jackson in the morning to just make sure everything is OK! I know there's not anything they can do for broken ribs, etc, but with intense cheerleading practice and an upcoming cheerleading competition in a few weeks, we need to understand her injuries just in case!
Richie and I spent the day laying around watching TV and just hanging out today--we took the day off and were lazy. In fact, I never got out of my PJ's. I only have a few more days off of work... :(! The last two weeks have absolutely flown by! I will feel reenergized though that's for sure.
Well, it's off to bed for me!

Here's to 2009!!!

My favorite time of the year! The time for reflection of 2008--it's almost like a a checklist of sorts, but hey, it's fun to see the changes in my life on a yearly basis!

2008--What kind of year was it???

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

Well, 2008 saw many changes in my life! First, I got married in Mexico in April! Richie and I had a blast on our honeymoon and I hope we get to return very soon! Secondly, I spent 8 weeks on bed rest for my poor, pitiful back! I have never been on a medical leave except for having babies!


2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Seems like New Year's Resolutions are for breaking, right? Well, if that's the case, I am good at that. Last year, I wanted to exercise more--I completely flopped at that. In fact, I am back up to my round self I was at the end of 2006. I WILL make sure to exercise more this year. In my defense, I spent 8 weeks on bed rest and I have been trying to recover from that. Seems like when I try to exercise, I get that great pain feeling in my back all over again. So, I guess it's slow and steady.
My second resolution was to get organized. I can say that there are still 3 days officially left in the year, so it's not too late! I worked on my closet the other day, I am busy working on the office today, so there's hope. But that's definitely something I want to COMPLETE in 2009.
For next year, I really want to get involved in a church again. We visited a church yesterday and had a great time. I hope to make it a consistent part of our lives. I know the kids need the positive interaction and we could sure use some too!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes! Jana and Will had baby Lakyn in May and she's just adorable! Maybe we'll join the crowd in 2009!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

A cousin of mine passed away--Travis Robison. Richie and I also had a miscarriage in August that really turned our world upside down for awhile. Kyle's Papaw Sam also passed away.

5. What countries did you visit?

Richie and I visited Mexico and got married! What a blast!

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

Wow, I just read all of the things I wanted in 2008 and guess what? All of the same--I would like a toned body, a little more confidence, peace and quiet, PATIENCE, and a HOUSE OF MY VERY OWN! I guess a little more energy wouldn't hurt so that I can get everything I want accomplished!

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Well of course April 12, 2008--my wedding day!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I think the biggest achievement was just adjusting to married life and getting a better grasp on my job. I know that's not anything extraordinary, but sometimes the little achievements give us the best rewards! I also wrote a story about Kylie's illness when she was a baby and all of the feelings involved in that experience. I even sent it to Guideposts (something I have wanted to do since it happened). Of course, it wasn't published, but finishing the story was a great reward. Maybe one day I'll post it here.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Yep! 3 days in the hospital and 8 weeks in bed with my jacked up back. Is it 100% healed? NOPE!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I think the Wii has brought us the most fun this year. But, the Guitar Hero band game has been a blast since Christmas too!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I am giving this one to Richie! We loved the movie Fireproof and started our Love Dare journals and couple's DVD study. I can't believe how much he has changed since reading the book and doing the "dares". It has really impacted our marriage. I need to do a better job at doing the Love Dare Journal now!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I think this may be the 3rd year in a row that the parents win this one! One day, we'll break free!

14. Where did most of your money go?

Debt. Clothes. Kiddos. And...happily to savings! We are kicking rear in the savings department!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Our wedding day! It was so nice to go away and it just be about the two of us. We were able to enjoy it and relish every moment instead of worrying about everyone else.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

I think Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars". Richie and I have adopted that as "our song" and since it was "our year" I think it's only fitting!!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? thinner or fatter? richer or poorer?

Well, I have found about 10 of the 13 pounds I lost last year! YUCK! Thanks to my little back hiatus. But, that's gonna change this year! I am richer--we are paying off debt and saving money! And I am happier--we are all adjusting to our new life and enjoying the time together!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Relaxed. Read books. Cleaned my house--I know I sound weird... (Note: NO change from last year!)

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Less worrying. (Same as last year too!)

20. How will you be spending New Year’s?

Going out to eat with friends and then a little get together afterward.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?

Yes, I did. I love you Richie....still!

23. What was your favorite TV program?

Lots of new shows this year! I LOVE 90210...again! Desperate Housewives is still there. Plus, Ace of Cakes, Private Practice, and of course 48 Hours Mystery!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I don't "hate" anyone--but there are people I don't care for. But, hey, I know there are plenty that don't care for me either--But who cares??

26. What was the best book you read?

The Twilight series! Go Team Cullen!!

27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?

Taylor Swift by far. Kylie and I love her!

29. What did you want and not get?

My 5th bedroom cleaned out and converted into a game room. In fact, it's a little worse. Oh well, there's always 2009!!

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I liked Marley and Me and The Dark Knight. I wasn't impressed with the Twilight movie though!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Crap--ok, fine. I am 30. I give up--I am still here and officially old. I had a good birthday I guess. None of the hoopla anticipated, but about 25 of us went out to eat at Shogun's and we had a great time!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Getting a house, being debt free. Being organized!!! (Same as last year!!)

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

Well, I have definitely branched out on the shoes--I have great colors and patterns and prints! FUN! And I guess I have a lot of black in my wardrobe--so, I think my fashion is a more polished, professional look.

34. What kept you sane?

Deep breaths! Seriously, just trying to enjoy life as best as possible. It goes so fast, it's so stressful, and there's way too much to do, but my 8 weeks hiatus was actually nice. I just relaxed and tried to heal. I also enjoy how my company gives us so much time off of work to relax!

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I think watching Taylor Swift become ultra famous and not really changing a thing about herself. I love her music. I love that she's a dork like me and that sometimes people just don't get us!!

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

The Presidential race of course! I am really praying about the future of our country. Also, the recession--it's so, so scary to see friends losing jobs, struggling families, and a very dreary holiday season for many. I sure hope things turn around in 2009 for everyone!

37. Who did you miss?

No one really--I have everyone I need.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Although I didn't JUST meet her, Jana and I have become good friends. I am also excited about new friends in 2009 as we find a church home. I have also made some great friends in my job--Michelle is a fellow rep who is so positive and upbeat. Oh yeah, she had a baby--guess that makes two babies on that earlier question!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:

Life is so unpredictable! We think we have it all figured out and then BAM it changes! I guess I have learned to try and take it in stride. Sometimes planning is just a waste of time, because God's got it all worked out for us!

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

I have been thinking about this all year long and when this song came on, it just fits perfect! This year has seen some of the greatest memories and some unexpected ones. But, when it's all said and done, worrying about it won't solve it or change it...life is what it is. So make the most of it!

"But, it is poor me, why me, oh me
Boring the same old, worn out, blah blah story
There is no good explanation for it at all

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to overthink it
Let go laughing

Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand it
Irrefutable, indisputable
Fact is, it happens"

Sugarland's, "It Happens"


Happy 2009 everybody! Here's to a great year full of unplanned memories called life!

Blog Makeover for 2009!

Well, I have decided to give my blog a facelift! I am not one for constantly changing up my blog background--I guess it's that "branding" aspect of marketing that has stuck with me. But, I am one for a refreshing change every now and then--plus I couldn't possibly pass up this background with my FAVORITE colors! I loved this background as soon as I saw it!
Ok, now for an update on our busy Christmas week! Sorry for the delay on our Christmas action, but it has been SO busy! Everyone got such great presents and for once Christmas didn't seem rushed like it normally does--don't get me wrong, we were busy, just not overwhelmed.
Christmas morning once again saw me waking the kids and dragging them out of bed to see what Santa brought them. However, that was after Weston's failed attempt to check out the goods around midnight. We heard the door open to his bedroom and Richie was up and running toward the kitchen to head him off at the pass. Seems that Weston didn't know what time it was and the excitement overwhelmed enough that he thought it was already morning. Luckily though, we got him back in bed and he was fast asleep in no time. But, all of the excitement wore him out and he and Kylie were both difficult to wake Christmas morning! But once they got a view of the Guitar Hero game, they were awake! This was the year of Weston's funny dancing and Kylie's loud screams as they opened presents.
After the present opening, I cooked my 2nd annual Christmas breakfast for my parents and grandparents. Let me say, cooking for a big bunch of people is a little tough since breakfast food isn't really something you can make in advance. But, we got Richie in the kitchen and he and I had the eggs, bacon, ham, sausage, biscuits-n-gravy, and fried potatoes in no time! YUM!
We went to Richie's parents' house for lunch and visiting with his family. We got a bunch of great gifts and had an awesome lunch!
My mission for this week is to clean, clean, clean! I want my office organized and cleaned out once and for all! I got some great gifts to use in the office, but I can't even get in the door! So, Kylie and I have been busy trying to clean out all of the old work stuff and fit it in the closet, so I can enjoy the rest of the office. Well, that's all for now--I am going to start a new post and write my annual lookback on the previous year!

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

And all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse! The house is quiet right now. The kids went to bed about 45 minutes ago and we are busy getting ready for the big morning! I was reading back through my blogs on the last two Christmas Eve's and last year's blog talked about how worried I was that the kids might not believe this year. Well, they still do, but I know it's inevitable that the "magic" will be over soon. It's so wonderful though to see the light in the kids' eyes and the pure joy and excitement they have over this one evening! Kylie's face lights up and her smile is so genuine when she thinks about Santa coming tonight. She's really "into" Christmas this year!
Last night kicked off our Christmas present exchange and family gatherings. The "Oklahoma" Christmas was moved to my Mom's house this year. It's funny, but the most memorable thing about the last 10 Christmases is how my Mom complains that she doesn't get "her" Christmas with her kids/grandkids. She even told the girl that does our hair this story and had the girl believing that we don't even go and see her at all! So not true! I understand she wants a Christmas at her house on Christmas Day, but really the meaning behind Christmas is not the place/time but the idea of coming together as a family--whatever time that may be. In fact, I spent Christmas with her last night, tonight and tomorrow! She gets the MOST Christmases! Back to my story....so, we had Christmas at HER house last night and that was a lot different than the typical Oklahoma celebration. First of all there was WAY more room! Secondly, her house is breakable and fancy, so it was scary wondering if any of the kids would break something! In fact, Laurie and I had bets on the amount of spills and broken items by the end of the evening. It actually all went well though. But I have to say, it just wasn't the same!
Tonight was Christmas at my Me-Me's house. Sandwiches...again. Actually, it's growing on me and at my age it's kind of a welcomed meal since I don't need any help growing! The kids got some really cute clothes! Weston cracked me up when he guess what one of his presents was and said that he hoped it was jeans. He was went through a growth spurt (don't get excited, it's not much) and needs some bigger jeans.
But tonight when we got home to open our traditional Christmas Eve PJ's, that was the most excitement so far this year! Kylie went nuts over her PJ's--she got some Camp Rock ones. I thought she had won the lottery or something! She was just crazy with excitement!
Now here we are--the time of year that we wish would last all year. Why? It's just so nostalgic. Nothing compares to the pent up excitement over all of the presents under the tree. The curiosity is peaked--did I get what I asked for? It's just indescribable! I hope the kids have finally dozed off because I need to get their gifts ready for them. Andy tried to peak at his stocking stuffers! Actually he "sniffed"! He could smell some treats!
Perhaps the most important thing to remember tonight though is not only the time of year, but the time you have with family. As I sit here and type away about all my excitement, my heart is heavy thinking about the Robison family and many other families I'll never know. For this is the time of year that is most joyous, however burying your child is probably the most difficult thing anyone could ever experience. It breaks my heart for them to think about how they will have a small cloud of sadness hanging over them in the morning as they watch the other kids open their presents. There will be one stocking that won't get emptied and some presents that won't be opened. May God hold them in his arms tonight and be with them. Because if anyone understands the pain of watching a child die, it is him. And I know that he's the only one that can help them through this time and show them the good that will come of Travis' short, yet very fulfilled life here. What a difference he made.
So do me one favor in the morning--hold your babies a little longer when they hug you. Stop and concentrate on their faces--the smiles, the excitement. Relish the memory. We are not guaranteed tomorrow--enjoy every moment you have here. Make some memories that will stay with you forever.
Merry Christmas Everyone! God Bless each and everyone of you this season and may Santa bring everything you asked for!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

A New Angel in Heaven

The family that I shared with you a week or so ago has experienced a terrible loss today. Travis Robison has gone to be with his Heavenly Father and I know that Stan and Cheryl are experiencing what no parent should ever have to experience. The first thing that came to my mind was the lyrics from Mark Schlutz's song "He's My Son" when I thought of the battle that have fought over the last couple of years. Here is a link to a journal and guestbook devoted to Travis. Please say a prayer for his family when you thank God for yours. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/prayfortravis

Mark Schultz \ He's My Son

I'm down on my knees again tonight
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right
See there is a boy that needs Your help
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired
I'm sure You can understand
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand
And she tries not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes

CHORUS:
Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone
He's my son

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep
I dream of the boy he'd like to be
I try to be strong and see him through
But God who he needs right now is You
Let him grow old
Live life without this fear
What would I be
Living without him here
He's so tired and he's scared
Let him know that You're there

CHORUS

Can You hear me?
Can You see him?
Please don't leave him
He's my son

The Kylie Tour

Well, last weekend it was off to Hot Springs, AR for Kylie's cheerleading competition! I am beginning to feel like the coordinator for the Kylie Entourage! :)
We had fun even though Kylie's team came in 12th out of 13th. They weren't the greatest, but we all thought they would at least be 8th or so. Oh well. There was more than half the squad who was brand new to the competition scene, so it was good practice for them! Here's a picture of a few of the cheerleaders goofing off before the competition!
Well, I am home from work today--the schools were closed due to ice on the roads, so it's a no go for me too when the roads are bad! However, it would've been cheaper and easier to just have went to work--so far, the kids have managed to break two photo frames off of the wall! I could've killed them! They were Heelying down the halls (after several requests made by me for them to stop) and Kylie took a fall and took down two pictures when she went.
Oh well, I guess.
Well, I am going to get some office work done--it's nice to have the time to do it finally!

Sucked In

Well, I have officially been sucked into the teen vampire series, "Twilight". I am on the first book and I have to admit that initially I wasn't impressed. Not sure if it was because of all of the emphatic rave reviews I had heard or if it was just because the book seemed slow. Either way, it wasn't until around page 400 that I found the "I can't put this book down" feeling! Now, I can't stop reading. Luckily, I have the next 3 books in the series on hand to read!
Kylie was in the Christmas Parade Monday night and she looked so cute! She had a great time riding in the parade with her "Little Miss Fair Princess" title. At first she was shy, but she soon began to enjoy throwing candy and waving at everyone. She had people screaming at her the whole time trying to get her attention. It was so cute watching her soak up the attention. She was awed by the people's reaction. It was adorable! She had trouble getting the candy thrown, so Weston and I chipped in and helped her throw it! We had candy all over the car from tossing left and right so quickly!
I am ready for this week to be over! I haven't felt good this week and I am ready for the weekend and no work! I guess I am missing last weekend's relaxing tone. We stayed at a condo in Branson with my family for Thanksgiving and it was such a blast! There was a movie theater in the condo! We were in heaven!

Family

Today's newspaper featured a precious story about a family in our community. I know the family personally as I am related to the father and I can say firsthand that you will never meet a more friendly man and woman nor will you meet a couple that are more selfless and giving than this family. They knew very early in their relationship that they wouldn't be able to have children of their own, but they never let that get in the way of the bond between them. Now they are fighting another cancer battle--in one of their adopted children. The story in the paper is heartbreaking to read. The family has suffered so, so much, yet their resiliency is unmatched. I thought about the trials and battles they are facing and I compared that to the interactions I have had with this family recently. Never once would you expect to know that they were experiencing such trying times. They always smile and always ask how YOU are doing--never taking one minute of the conversation to discuss their own trials.
So, that got me thinking about how the bond of a family and how we go to great lengths to take care of the ones we love and never once question the sacrifice it takes. Because that's what families do--they stick together in good times and bad times. They lean on each other in hard times. And never once do they ever expect anything in return--that's just what families do.

Busy Week!

Last weekend Kylie and I spent the WHOLE weekend at a pageant in Lonoke. It sounded like tons of fun on paper, but by the time I got home on Sunday, I was exhausted. Kylie didn't place in the pageant, but in fairness to her, she was the youngest one in her category and was against some very experienced girls. But, I think the experience was good for her because she had to introduce herself on stage and she learned how to walk the "pageant pattern". It was so cute though when she introduced herself. She had to say her name, contestant number, and who sponsored her to be in the pageant. She said, "My name is Kylie Cumbie, I am contestant number 4 and I am responsible for my mom." The whole crowd got tickled over that! I have to say it was cute too--but it was a good example of how young she was!
Well, I get to teach a couple more chapters in the class I am observing--a chapter on Conflict and Negotiation and one on Leadership. Those are two things I am pretty passionate about! I really enjoyed teaching the teamwork chapters and I really hope to have a chance to teach at the college on a permanent basis!

Deer Hunting...for Deer? Deer???

So, I went hunting with Richie a couple of times this week. Deer hunting. Yes, deer hunting. Problem is, I haven't seen a SINGLE deer. I honestly don't think they exist! Richie and I went Tuesday afternoon--perfect weather, perfect conditions...or so we thought. Put it this way, at 10 minutes to dusk when I saw a bunny rabbit I was thrilled! Why? Because it was the first living thing I had seen the ENTIRE time! Richie hasn't gotten a deer since he's been with me...he says it's my fault and I am an "unlucky" charm. I told him you can't have it all!
Kylie is going to be a pageant this weekend. We got a new dress and even have a back-up dress borrowed from a friend, so hopefully either way she'll look fabulous!

Weston and the Unicorn

Weston went on the Youth Hunt yesterday. It's really one of his first times to truly go hunting. He's been a couple times before, but I think he is just getting to the age where he's actually hunting. Anyway, he saw a ton of deer! He saw an 8 point (I have my name on that one!), a few does, and a....unicorn! Ok, ok, it's a buck with only one horn on one side, but it sounds funnier to call it a unicorn. Anyway, he got ready yesterday to shoot it, but the rascal wouldn't stand still (the deer that is, not Weston). He couldn't ever get it in the scope long enough to pull the trigger. I was so bummed for him, because I know he will be thrilled if he can get a deer. Richie said that Weston had buck fever the whole time he was watching that deer. He said he was panting and got all excited!
The kids really enjoyed Halloween this year. Weston was Wolfman and Kylie was Supergirl (with a Wonder Woman twist). They looked adorable! We had a great time too--we went and visited the grandparents, then to Sonic for a free hot dog and coke, then we went to Grace Community to the "Trunk or Treat" festivities. Then, we had dinner at Pizza Hut. It was a fun-filled evening!

Scary Cupcakes

I am trying to figure out what I want to do for Kylie's Halloween party on Friday. I signed up for cupcakes and now I am trying to figure out which design is the cutest--I have seen mummies, frankenstein, pumpkins, etc. It's hard to choose! I really like the mummy though--it's easy and cute, so stayed tune for pics once I make my choice and have the finished product in hand!
Richie is out hunting tonight...again. Here's the funny part--a friend of ours got an 8 point already. It was HER first deer!! Yes, that friend is a girl! Now, I am jealous--she got a deer before me! The funny part of the story is that she shot it in the butt. Hey, it worked, and now she's got a deer to mount on her wall. Maybe one day I'll get one.

Worry Wart

I am so stressed lately and this economy certainly isn't helping things. In my industry, over 7700 people have lost their jobs in the last 36 hours! My heart goes out to these people and their families. It's such a stressful time in America and I am scared that we won't see an end to this anytime soon. If you have a job right now, you are a blessed person! So, thank God every day for the many blessings you have-kids, great marriage, a roof over your head, a place to lay your head at night, and a good friend to lean on!
Weston has had a phenomenal week--he was voted Defensive Player of the Week this week on his football team and he definitely deserves it--he tackled the biggest kid on the team at practice the other night. He also brought his grades up and he's now on the Honor Roll! He is on cloud 9! Now, if he could just find a nickname that fits....I really like Squirrel though! :)
Tomorrow is the weekend--woo hoo!

3 Strikes!

Ok, the Love Dare got a little difficult today! I had to ask Richie 3 things that I do that irritate him or make him uncomfortable. HOWEVER, I have to do this and not offer any excuse or justification for my actions--basically you are not supposed to respond. OUCH. Ok, that's SO hard. It is just human nature to want to explain why you do certain things or even get upset when you hear someone tell you things that you do that irritate them. But, today's lesson is on Love is NOT Rude. So, the design is to create a safe atmosphere for them to share things with you that maybe that wouldn't normally feel comfortable doing so.
Tonight I got to sit in on Master's course that I am hopefully going to be teaching in a semester or so. In fact, I get to teach one night of the course (3 chapters of stuff)! It was so refreshing to be back in class--I miss it! I know, that's not what everybody wants to hear from me though! Maybe I'll start looking into a few doctorate programs..... :)

Manic Monday

I am so glad today is over--I hate wishing away a day of my life, but Mondays seem to just be tagged with this awful aura. No one likes Mondays. It's like hearing "Monday" is a laugh in the face of a whole long agonizing week ahead. It's a constant reminder of what you have to go through to make it to the weekend. It's not that today was that bad, I am just ready for weekend and it's only Monday!!
Anyway, I am still cranking along in the Love Dare book. I got a few days behind, but am now back on track. So, the first day was "Love is Patient" and it was all about keeping a lid on those negative comments. Well, the second day was Love is Kind. It describes kindness as "love in action" which is such a great analogy. The dares for that day and the next few have to do with buying your loved one something "just because" and calling "for no reason". It's little things that get us in the habit of thinking of our spouse and constantly putting them first!

I Dare Ya!

I have started my Love Dare Journal today--I meant to start on Sunday, but Kylie had a little accident--have to tell you about that first.
Ok, so I was sitting on my bed and I had just started reading the Love Dare Journal when I heard this loud boom followed by a scream, then a cry, then a shrill scream, then a yell, then more crying from my daughter's room. I jumped up and ran as fast as I could to her room. When I got there, she was laying over her bed with her hands over her face and Weston had a look of fear on his face. I asked him what happened and he said when he heard Kylie scream he ran in her room to find her on her knees holding up her huge 6 drawer dresser as it was falling on her. So, he pushed the dresser back up against the wall and when he did, her stereo system came crashing down and fell on her head/face! He was shaking and so scared--he said it was so frightening to find her under the dresser like that. I told him he was a hero and she could've been seriously hurt if he hadn't came in her room to rescue her when he did.....
Anyway, back to my Love Journal. So, today I finally had time to sit down and start the "dare". Today's dare centered around patience and controlling our anger with our spouses. I have come a long way in the "patience" section, but we can all stand to improve even more. As for anger, well I think whenever I get angry at Richie, I find it is because I wanted him to do something, but I didn't ask him to. It's like I expect him to read my mind. Which, as I realized today, isn't fair to him. I really liked how it talked about letting each other be human and realizing we all make mistakes. It also talked about letting each other talk and explain before immediately getting angry. I think sometimes we, as married couples, get angry and start yelling before we ever listen to our spouse. The journal really stressed listening as a vital piece of having patience and controlling our anger.
Today's dare was to find ways to be patient with our spouse and to not say anything negative. If we found ourselves wanting to say something negative, we were to not say anything at all. I did Ok on today's exercise, but I really didn't have anything challenging to face, so it is definitely something I need to keep in mind for the next time I find myself upset.
Well, tomorrow my boss is riding with me--I totally dread the day because we are going to my least favorite clinic and I didn't have any time to prepare tonight at all. Wish my luck!!

Welcome Back 1987!!!

Ok, in the last year, I have gotten younger by 20 years! Can you say 80's throwback year? I LOVE it! It all kicked off with my absolute favorite trio as a kid--The Chipmunks! When I saw they had a movie coming out last winter, I went nuts. Nuts to the point my then fiance wondered if he was making a wise choice in the "woman" he had chosen. But, let me just say it has only gotten better since then--so good I can't imagine what could be next! This summer, when NKOTB (better known to us pre-teen girls in the 80's as New Kids on the Block) decided to get back together AND tour, I honestly thought I was going to have to start teasing my bangs and wearing capri leggings--wait, I am wearing capri leggings again! OH NO! The 5 guys were on Rachael Ray the other day and I just want to know how they haven't aged (but I have!)....Then, there is my new DVR must-see show--let's all say it together now 90210! Yes, Kelly and Brenda are back! I just hope the producers KEEP them on the show. I need them on there to be able to relate, because I am old now and not in high school, so I don't quite relate to the girls on the show. But, when Brenda announced the Kelly's little boy was fathered by Dylan, I just felt like a teenager all over again!
So, let me just say that 2007-2008 has felt like 1987-1988! So, what's left to bring back? I don't know, but I can't wait to see!
So, for now, check the "In The I-Pod" section on the right for some of my favorite 1980's...most specifically '87-88 hit songs!

Wanna Salsa?

I have been so frustrated--I have went to Wal-Mart and other places trying to find a good salsa. Awhile back, there was one that I really loved, but then it was suddenly unavailable. Since then, it's been frustrating trying to find one I like. They all seem so tomato-paste based! So, when you can't buy it, what's the next best thing? Make it yourself! So, I have been perfecting my "recipe" and last night I got it! I have to say though, it's the secret ingredient I use that makes it the best! Richie loves it so much he thinks I need to sell it! I wish I knew how to go about "marketing" and "selling" my salsa. You would think someone with marketing and sales experience would know, but I have been pushing everyone else's products and I have no clue how to do it for myself. I need to just open a restaurant/bakery. Then, I could make my cakes, pork tenderloin, and salsa! Ha!

A Great Movie and a Great Weekend!

Richie and I saw the best movie today! Fireproof is such an awesome story about the real meaning of love and the importance of continually working at your marriage. Anyone that is married will say that it isn't always easy--but I think we sometimes make it harder than it has to be. Time can be your best friend or worst enemy in marriage. You can either wake up one day completely out of love or more in love than you can ever imagine. We can either spend each day investing in our marriage or each day slowly chiseling away at the love that brought two people together. This movie really taps into how marriage fails before either person really knows what happened. The central tool in the book is a Love Dare Journal which challenges the person to 40 days of putting your partner first. I think that marriages fail because of lack of respect and a selfish desire. Marriage isn't two people living under one roof, but one couple working together. Divorce is so easy these days and when both people aren't willing to put forth an effort to save the marriage, it will inevitably fail. One person can't do it alone. It takes two people to make it work. It takes two people working everyday. If you get a free evening or afternoon, go see the movie!
I have to say this has been one of the best weekends because Adelina has my house all cleaned up and I have had time to really enjoy the weekend. It has flown by like usual, but I have some great memories from the weekend instead of a frustration over trying to continually get things done only to find that it's Sunday and nothing is done!

Adelina to the rescue!

I have a housekeeper again! I am SO excited! It means that I will actually be able to have someone walk in unexpected and not freak out about what the guest bathroom looks like or how much dog hair is on the couch! It has been 5 long years of cleaning since I lost my last housekeeper and I am ready to have the help. Heck, it feels like Christmas Eve--I can't sleep I am so excited! It is just more than I can do on my own with as much as I work. Add two kids to the mix and it's next to impossible at times. Of course, I think Richie thought I was nuts when I spent all evening cleaning so that the cleaning lady could come and clean! But, you have to have the junk picked up before she can clean! I just hope she doesn't feel overwhelmed tomorrow and quit the first day! :)
Well, bow season opens tomorrow. I know Richie is excited.
We had a work meeting today in Tulsa. Honestly, I couldn't justify driving 5 hours round trip for 4 hour meeting. The funny part is that a couple of districts got together for this meeting, but then we split into 2 groups! I'm confused! Why get everyone together to just split us up into manageable groups? Oh well, it was a day that I didn't have to make sales calls, so that was a nice change.

Spaghetti Squash

I so love Rachael Ray! I got to try a new recipe tonight I saw on one of her shows and it was pretty good. First, I had never heard of spaghetti squash. But she showed how to make it and use it as "spaghetti" in a dish. It totally works and is actually better than spaghetti because it was a sweeter flavor. I didn't make the sauce exactly right, so it wasn't as good as it could be, but I didn't have all of the ingredients. I'll be prepared next time and hopefully it will be even better.
So, today I went through the torture chamber. First, I had an eye exam and I had never experienced it as far as I can remember. Ok, I did NOT like it when they dilated my eyes--that was horrible. Plus, they didn't even tell me that things would be blurry for like 3 hours! All in all though, my eyes were fine. I had been having pain behind my right eye, but they didn't find anything. Darn! No Sarah Palin glasses for me! :)
So, then I leave the eye doctor and go over to my back doctor for an injection. They did an epidural injection this time. I felt so good right after it was over, but now I can barely walk! I am hurting so bad right now! I know they said it was get worse before it gets better, but man this is like regressing 6 weeks.
So cross your fingers it clears up!

Got No Weed :(

I am so bummed. So, so bummed. Ragweed will be in town tomorrow night and I don't get to go. I wish there were some way I could go see them! I am having serious withdrawls! Heck, I even tried to talk Kyle and Angela into taking me!! But somebody's gotta keep the kids!
Anyway, this weekend has been cram packed with football and fairs. We went to the Razorback game Saturday and had some AWESOME seats. A friend of Richie's gave them to him since he couldn't go. The only problem was that we had a very up close view of the butt-kicking that Alabama gave us!
I have added pictures of my cakes from a few weekends ago. It's amazing how different they look in pictures. They look so much better in person, but for some reason the angle of the pictures just distorts the cake. I guess I haven't quite figured out how to take a picture of a cake!
Also, I have started a Photo Blog--the link is on the right-hand side under "Connections". I think it's the last link in the list. I have put several pictures from the last few months on there.
We went to the fair this afternoon and had such a great time. I was so impressed with Weston and Kylie's bravery today! They rode all of the big people rides and had so much fun! Wesotn was a little apprehensive on a few, but after they were over, he loved them. I was even scared on a couple of them, so to see them get on and enjoy the ride really impressed me.

Post Pardon

I am sorry I am behind on posts. It's not because there's nothing to write about. It's because I have wanted to post about the 3 cakes I did a couple of weekends ago and include pictures, but things have been so busy and I can't find my card reader, so I haven't had a chance. Therefore, I have waited to post--which was the wrong thing to do I guess. Because now I am behind on my news!
Well, I have 2 more birthday cakes and another wedding cake to do in the next couple of weeks. Such a nice pace--they seem to spread out nicely where I am not overwhelmed in one week. I am a little nervous about the wedding cake. The picture they have has tons of flowers, but I think I have convinced them to nix a few. Instead, we are going to go a little more trendy since it's a young bride. Flowers are nice, but they are a pain to make and I know they wanted to have a nice cake on a small budget, so it's best to cut out the pricey part of the cake when you can do things that are a lot prettier and less expensive.
Weston has been playing some football lately, too. He's an awesome receiver, however they don't pass the ball. It's not a mastered skill in 3rd grade. I told him to just hang in there and keep practicing.
Richie and I get to go to the Hogs game on Saturday. I am excited! We have never gotten to go to a football game together. Plus, we have awesome seats! It should be loads of fun! Now, let's hope they win.....
I am having a program tomorrow night for work and have been a little nervous about the response. It's hard to get doctors to show, however, we supposedly have 20 healthcare professionals attending. This is rare, but awesome! Now, keep your fingers crossed it plays out that way....
Richie is suffering from a terrible virus these days. It's called acute hunter deeritis. The symptoms are terrible--withdrawl from friends/family, irritability, longing for tree stand, desire to be outside in 45 degree weather. It's horrible. I am actually ready for October 1st so he'll feel better!

Princess Kylie

Kylie was in the Fair Princess pageant on Saturday and she won! There were 4 little girls in her division--all very cute. She was a lot more nervous this time around I noticed. I guess it was because it was outside during the day and she could see all of the people in the crowd. The last pageant was inside and the stage lights probably kept her from seeing the crowd. However, she did great! I was so worried though when we were getting ready because her hair was not cooperating! We cut it off a month or so ago and probably should've waited until after the pageant. But it worked out alright and her hair came out very cute! Her biggest excitement about the whole thing is that now she can ride in the parades!
Congratulations KYLIE!!

Sweet Paradise

I had the honor of making a cute cake this weekend! Angela's daughter's birthday party was this weekend and I was given the honors of making the birthday cake. It was a tropical theme and she chose a cake with a waterfall down the front. The only hang-up with the cake was trying to assemble to palm trees--they just didn't work! But I found some use for the leaves and we went with it. It was tons of fun and very challenging. This week it's a wedding cake and engagement cake--should be fun!

Thank you

First I want to tell everyone thank you for their well wishes, phone calls, flowers, dinner and thoughtful words. It's great to have such supportive and compassionate people around us. It's a hard time, but everyday gets a little better. I have debated whether or not I wanted to write about my feelings on here, but I decided to go ahead and write a little bit. It's not really for anyone reading it, but more for me. I hope to read this post one day and realize how far I have come because today I can't imagine a time when I feel at peace with this. I think I have had every feeling imaginable. I am currently not on speaking terms with God. Maybe that sounds harsh, but when you weren't expecting something and get a surprise only to have it ripped from you, it's hard to understand. I sincerely appreciate people thoughts and prayers, but when someone tells me they are going to pray for me and my family, my first response is to ask, "why?". I prayed everyday that I knew I was pregnant, yet it was in vain. I was in even surprisingly calm for me and didn't get worried and anxious over the slightest little twinge or the absence of symptoms. I actually thanked God for making it so easy on me. But deep down, I thought something was wrong. Yet, I trusted God and prayed everyday. Yes, I know I have two healthy kids. I have been reminded by people during this and I wouldn't trade them for anything. But Richie doesn't have any and I want him to know that awesome feeling of holding something that you had a hand in creating. Something that wouldn't exist without you. I just get so frustrated that someone that doesn't even want a baby is able to get pregnant, that a woman who could care less about the child during pregnancy so she smokes, drinks, etc. And then the people that are blessed with kids only to abuse them and neglect them. And what about the people that don't even believe in God and they have kid after kid after kid? Why?
Plenty of people have told me that this miscarriage is God's way of taking care of something that wouldn't have been healthy. Well, why couldn't he have made it healthy? He can do all things right? He's perfect right? Then why do we have to suffer through imperfection? What good is it for me to experience this loss? So that I can help others through it? Why not allow it to happen in the first place. I don't understand. No, I don't want to bring an unhealthy baby into this world only to watch it suffer and see how cruel our world can be by the way they would treat it.
I just get so sick of seeing everyone else get blessing after blessing and chance after chance. I feel like I have busted my butt with nothing to show compared to the person down the road who seems to have no bad luck.
This is a bitter post I know, but I need a place to start so that hopefully I will move forward.

At a Loss for Words

We lost our baby last night. It's a little hard right now.

This will be Kylie's new quote to her friends....

Pitbull Practice Game

Weston had his first taste of playing football today at their practice game. They are definitely young and new to this. And I can't say much for the head coach (who is new, but I don't think that's the issue), so hopefully we will see some improvement in the near future. The kids had fun and are eager to play and I just don't want to see that diminish. I know how down these kids can get if they don't get a taste of a win every now and then.
I am starting to experience some early pregnancy symptoms, but nothing major at all. That totally scares me! I guess I am anticipating what is likely to come and what did come the last two times, but I haven't really been that sick at all. Maybe mildly queasy about 3 or 4 times, but NOTHING like the last two times. How many people can say they WANT to puke? I just know that morning sickness is a sign of all things flowing right, so I guess I am just nervous. I have my ultrasound in about 3 weeks, so maybe that will help calm some nerves! But until then I am gonna drive myself crazy. I was talking to another lady who had a baby about 8 months ago and she said she was the same way. You just want some confirmation this thing is real when the the symptoms aren't showing up yet. I guess I need to be thanking my lucky stars instead of griping, huh? But every pregnancy is different, so I may not get sick with this one!
Tomorrow we are cleaning out the back bedroom and trying to sort things into garage sale, kids' sale, trash, and storage in a hope to get rid of some of the junk back there. I really need to find my extra bedroom so that I can get started on getting it ready for the little one. Trust me it's gonna take 9 months to clean that room out! Ha!

The Rainiest August Ever!

I think it is going to continue to rain and rain until we all wash away. It's August! We are supposed to have burn bans, sweat to death, etc and we are drowning! But the break from the heat is such a welcomed relief!
Anyway, Kylie has been telling her friends she's getting a new sibling. She told Savannah the other day that her Mommy "has a real live baby in her belly!" I thought that was cute! Savannah wants one now but her Mom told her she got a puppy for her birthday instead!
I still haven't gotten too sick yet--I know I need to start BANGING on wood really quick because my day is coming! I have been mildly queasy a few times, but nothing that eating doesn't cure. The only strange symptom was this morning when I was dizzy as I got out of bed. It wasn't really dizzy--it was more like the room was sideways and wouldn't straighten out. Very weird! But a few minutes later and I was great.
I had an HCG test done because I guess I am trying to convince myself this thing is real--and it is. My levels were great, so no problems so far. Just keep praying everyday that the baby is healthy!
Well, I am sleepy--another sign of my impending future. So, I think I will kick back and relax before the chaos in the house begins!

Night Before School Starts

'Twas the night before school starts and all through the house, not a thing is ready and Mom is stressed out! I can't believe it's already time for school to start!
I called Kylie yesterday on her birthday to wish her happy birthday since I didn't get to be with her on her birthday. Richie and I spent the weekend at Big Cedar with my coworkers for our annual work retreat. I hated missing her birthday but the girl really made out like a bandit on the parties aspect! She had her slumber party a few weeks ago and then her Dad had a party for her on her actual birthday. Anyway, I also told her I had another birthday present for her and told her I am having a baby. She was in the car with a friend of hers headed to a "make-up" party and she yells, "Caroline, my Mom's gonna get a baby maybe!" It was hilarious! She then preceded to ask me when I was getting the baby and to make sure it was a girl. (BTW, Weston is adamant that it is a boy!) When she came home tonight, she stormed through the door and asked, "Where's the baby?" I told her that it wasn't here yet so she said, "when are you going to go get it?" This pregnancy is going to be like no other with these kids. The last time I was pregnant, Weston was only a year and a half to two years old. He went around telling everyone he had a baby in his pocket which was hilarious, too. This pregnancy will also be a long one for the kids, too. I have a feeling they will forget a few times before I start showing.